The Emotions of Change

The end of one year and the start of a new is often a time of reflection and goal setting. Typically goals are set in January with high hopes and enthusiasm. By the time December rolls around we are discouraged by our lack of progress. Setting New Year's Resolutions is common, but accomplishing them is not. Why is that?

Every successful person will tell you that they consistently set goals for themselves. Most have a format that they follow that includes writing them down, and tracking progress, frequently evaluating and making changes in the plan as necessary. Yet even these successful people often struggle with one or more goals that they just can't seem to conquer. For example, a successful business man that is continually on a diet to loose weight, and yo-yo's back and forth year after year. His business goals are met each quarter without fail, yet this personal challenge continues to plague him. What is the difference? Why is money easy and weight hard for the same person? Why is one change a challenge and the other a stumbling block?

Emotions. Our personal emotions are the determining factor. How we FEEL about the changes we have set out for ourselves makes all the difference between success and failure. The business man feels confident setting and achieving sales and profitability goals. He is sure of his abilities and acts accordingly. Set backs are not personal, they are a challenge. He expects success and achieves it. When it comes to his weight, he feels very different. He is emotional about his body image. He over eats to fill an emotional need. When he diets that need goes unmet, and he eventually gives up and eats, to meet that deeply emotional need. He is probably only vaguely aware of that emotional hole that he tries to fill with food. It is not a conscious thought. When he looks in the mirror or steps on a scale, he feels badly about himself. He thinks of all the failed diets, and the voice in his head calls him a failure. He wants to be fit and healthy, but right now he sees himself as fat, ugly, unhealthy and a loser. He sees himself as he is, rather than as he could be. Until he resolves the underlying emotional need, he will always struggle with his weight.

In another person the situation may be reversed. They have a healthy body and healthy lifestyle. Fitness goals are easily achieved. Their body has always responded well to exercise and they enjoy a balanced diet. Any injuries and illnesses are easily overcome. On the other hand, money has always been a struggle. She has held many jobs, but nothing seems to work out for very long. It always feels like the world is conspiring against her. When money gets tight, she panics, pulls in the reigns and tries to control spending. When things seems to be going well, she is plagued with the nagging fear that it won't last. The panic and fear create a feeling of scarcity, even when none exists. Scarcity always reoccurs and the bouts of prosperity are short lived. Just like the man with a weight problem, she is stuck in this cycle by her own negative emotions. Her view of herself is limiting her ability to change.

When we decide to make a change how we feel about it is the most important factor. If we get that wrong, no goal achieving strategy will work. If we get it right, then just about any strategy we choose will bring success. It's not the method, so much as it is the motivation, that determines success.

Of the millions of smokers, most of them have tried to quit at least once, without success. There are countless methods, programs, and products available to help someone quit smoking. There is a physical addiction to contend with, but the emotional reasons people smoke are normally ignored. Reformed smokers will tell you that they tried to quit many times, and were only successful when finally some switch was flipped inside of them. When they were finally quitting for their own "right reason" they did it. The difference was internal and emotional, not the method or the program. The rest are tools that help, but the determining factor came from within.

Choosing something different for yourself is a common, everyday experience. We change what we wear, how we do our hair, the music we listen to, and the types of food we eat frequently and without any emotion attached. Sometimes these small changes are hard for us, but mostly, we just wake up one day and decide that we want to be a red head who eats Thai food, and do it. We hear of a new toothpaste, so we switch, no heartache required. If the new brand of toothpaste tastes bad, we throw it away, and try another. These no emotion changes are easy and we make them often.

Accomplishing bigger, or more meaningful, change requires more of us, but can be just as free of emotional baggage. Because you make the choice to do something different today, does not mean that what you did yesterday was bad or wrong. It only means it was different. Just like switching toothpaste brands, switching jobs, or careers, or homes, is totally your choice. You can choose to live here today and live somewhere else tomorrow. It does not mean that where you were was bad. It only means that you want to live somewhere new tomorrow. Having a feeling of gratitude for what you have, and who you are, will enable you to make choices that lead to more successful changes. Desiring change because you loath yourself or your present circumstance will not lead to success. You will be like the overweight businessman who only sticks to his diet for a short while, before giving in to those emotional needs.

Desiring to loose weight and improve health might be achieved if he began with an honest appreciation for his current self. He might say to himself things like, "I have a strong and capable body." "My body has served me well for my entire life so far." "My sound and capable mind is part of my body and is capable of governing it well." "My body has overcome many illnesses and injuries in my lifetime and is excellent at healing itself." "My body was created in the image of God." "My body is dynamic and capable of great things." "My body needs food and exercise and I provide them in the right proportions." "This extra weight has served to fill my emotional needs. My needs are met by other means now and I no longer need it. I give my body permission to burn it off." "I am safe without all of the extra weight." Starting the process with positive feelings about himself, with an attitude of thankfulness for his body, is a step towards achieving his goals. Having his emotions in line with his intentions, and physical actions will lead to greater success.

After spending 20 years as a doctor, a person retires to write books. They are not a failure. They are a successful person that decided to do something different. They did not fail as a doctor because they now want to write. The same is true for all of us. If after spending most of your life as a (insert profession, habit, hobby, or any other label) you decide you would like to become (insert a profession, habit, hobby or any other label), send your old self off with gratitude and love, and face the new with hope and patience.

Often times, we are hard on ourselves for our seeming failures. We expect a lot, and beat ourselves up when we don't perform. This is counterproductive. We should be kind and gentle with ourselves, especially when we are making major life changes. We did not get to where we are in a day, and it will likely take more than a day to get somewhere new. Patience with self is important. When set backs occur, they are not a reason to give up in defeat. Forgive yourself, and try again. We learn by making mistakes. Watch a baby learn to walk. They fall down all the time. They make more wrong steps than right ones. Each wrong step, each fall, sends information to the babies brain about how to do it different next time. Eventually they get it right. The same is true with anything you want to accomplish. Make the best plans you know how, but when things go wrong, learn, adjust, and take another step.

Upon learning of a new, or better way of living, don't spend any energy wishing you would have made this change sooner. You are making it as soon as you are able. You were not prepared until just this moment, to make that change. The thing you want may not have existed, or even been possible, until now. Don't waste energy regretting the past, be thankful for it, and spend your energy moving forward. All the experiences of our past prepare us to be the person we are today. Be grateful for the job that you have out grown as you start looking for your next position. Leave it behind with gratitude for all the learning and growth you experienced while there. Someone else is waiting for just that job to open up to fill a desire in their life. Send it on to them with blessings. The same with a new home, or car. Let the past go with gratitude for how well it served you and step graciously into your future.

It's Limbo Week Again

Limbo Week

After delivering presents to children around the globe, Santa takes a much deserved break. He parks the magic sleigh in the garage, kisses Mrs. Claus good night, and takes a nap for the next week. It is the only 7 days of the year that he is not watching, and making those naughty and nice lists. This phenomena was first brought to my attention by my then five year old niece. On Christmas evening, after all the presents were opened, and the food devoured, she was up to
some minor childhood antics. One of the adults scolded her, and reminded her to, "watch out", she wouldn't want to be on the naughty list. Her reply was, "Why? Santa has already come." She was absolutely right. Santa had already brought her so many presents, she had clearly made it on the nice list for the year that was about to end. Santa's lists are for each calendar year. Santa's record keeping takes a break for that week between Christmas and New Years while he catches up on his rest, and starts fresh on January 1st. What do you do with your Limbo Week, the one and only 7-day free pass for the year?

Most of us follow Santa's lead and do as little as possible. We sleep in, watch TV, put away the Christmas decorations, or at least think about it. Some of us go on vacation, maybe skiing, or somewhere tropical. Why don't we all make the most of our limited time and have a whole week of Carnival-like sin and excitement?? Why not just try some new things, before we have to give them a name, like "New Year's resolution"? Take a test drive before we make any sort of official
commitment to feel guilty about when we break?



Here are a few ideas:

Give up a bad habit. Just try for the week. Don't tell anyone. Most of us are off work or school, so it is a good time to be cranky. They kids will be so in to their new toys they might not even notice. Try to give up caffeine or sugar or something. In virtual seclusion you can be as mean and as surly as you want and it won't effect your job or your grades. Your family might wonder what is going on and banish you to the attic, which is the perfect place to try out yoga with no one watching.

Try a new hobby, like yoga. No one will notice if you stink at it if it is over by January 1. If you discover you have some hidden talent for oil painting, or ballet, you can start the new year with a week already under your belt.

Color your hair. I don't mean something subtle to hide the gray (yes, you have gray hairs). I am talking radical. Go bleach blond, or flaming red. I actually did this once on New Year's Eve. It was
over so fast there isn't even a photo to record that I once had strawberry blond hair. It was chocolate brown again by January 1st. If the new do suits you, you can start of the new year looking great!

Enjoy some guilty pleasures. Go ahead, indulge - eat that chocolate cake. It won't last another week, and by Jan 2nd you will be on to your new diet. Plus the next time someone bakes you a cake that good will be your birthday, months away. Finish the carton of egg nog. The store won't even sell it for another 11 months.

Go to the movies during the day. No one is really working this week anyway. Those of you at your desk are just surfing the net spending your holiday gift cards, or looking at youtube for something to entertain you.Take a long lunch, at the theater. Nothing beats movie popcorn for lunch.

Take a nap. When is the last time you took a nap? Kindergarten? Nothing feels quite as indulgent as a mid-day nap. Go ahead, grab your favorite blankie and snooze while the sun shines.

Read a book. If you can't take a real vacation, take a mental one. Pick up one of the new best sellers,an old favorite, or even a trashy magazine. It doesn't really matter what you select, as long as it takes you away. Warning, reading may leading to napping, so be prepared.

Play, after all, this is the wisdom of a 5 year old and play is what they do best. The kids are home from school and there are all those new toys to checkout. Make the most of that white Christmas - build a snowman and make snow angels. Go to the beach and make a sand castle.

Go ahead - live a little - its Limbo Week.

NOTE: I wrote this a couple of years ago. I thought I would post it again. Maybe if you tried yoga last year, you are up for a new hair color this year :-). My own Limbo Week experiment was giving up caffeine. I did that in December 2007. I haven't had any since! Happy New Year!

Do Zebra and Camo Match? (or the Worst Headache on Record)

Today I ended up at the mall, yes the mall on the day after Christmas, in camo shorts and zebra print sandals. My shirt was a mild navy blue, but it was dirty. I think it was either toothpaste or oatmeal, not really sure which. Of course, being so dressed, I ran into friends. They must be good friends because they actually walked next to me, rather than pretending not to know the weirdo with messy hair in the camo shorts. I am pretty sure I was last at the mall about 6 months ago. I was at the movies. I'm not a mall rat by nature.

One of my son's Christmas gifts was 2 pair of pants - yet to be purchased. I used to buy him clothes and no matter what I bought, he wore. No complaints, no comments, he was just glad not to be naked. He is 18 now and that method no longer works. For one thing, I have no idea what size he wears. For another, he now has a sense of fashion, and I have no idea what is cool. Obviously I have slipped in my own fashion sense (ie. today's outfit). The quest for those 2 pair of jeans is why we were at the mall.

How I came to be there so poorly dressed is another story. Yesterday I had the worst headache of the decade. Nothing like going out with a bang. Big BANG BANG BANG in my skull. I don't really know what brought it on, maybe all the sugar I ate, maybe the stress, I don't know, but it was hell. Not really any other way to say it. Today my head feels bruised and my thinking is fuzzy. My motor skills are a little impaired as well. I took no drugs, so at least I'm not hung over from the side effects. Just wiped out from the pain.

I got up this morning feeling a bit battered, like I had played football without a helmet and had a mild concussion, or something. I showered and got dressed, with no intention of leaving the house. After a little work and a large Jamba Juice, I was bored and ready to do something. Ryker and I decided to go return the couple of gifts that needed returned. I grabbed my closest comfy slippers (flip flops) and without so much as a glance in the mirror we were off.

After a successful return and purchase mission to Best Buy, which was the most crowded store of the day, we were driving home. As we passed the turn to the mall I commented, "I have no interest of going in there today", quickly followed by, "unless you want to go look for some pants". Of course, we went and bought the pants.

I'm not sure what the lesson or deep thought is of this story. I have a great kid who isn't embarrassed by me? You can wear crazy stuff now and no one cares? I really should hang a mirror by the door? Headaches can impair your fashion sense? When you start the day with no intention of leaving the house, you should stick to it? Good friends love you know matter what you look like? or maybe, Zebra and Camo actually do match.

Evaluation & Review

Who gives you your yearly review and accompanying raise, if said evaluation goes well? The boss of course! Being my own boss, I am then in the position to review and evaluate my own performance. There have been years that the boss was rather harsh, and the whole process did not go so well. Lucky for me, I am a reformed perfectionist. Rather than my previous "type A" personality, I am now more like a B+, sometimes even a good solid C.

Let's take a look at where I was a year ago, and see how things have changed.

1. I was driving a mechanically challenged car. I wrote about in "Small Miracles". I did a good job keeping a positive attitude through all the troubles, but that hunk of junk was really getting to me. In October Carl turned my daily battle into a daily pleasure by purchasing me a 2004 PT Cruiser. It is a bright shiny blue (my favorite color), and runs just like it should. It is so nice to drive a reliable vehicle. Still no car payment, so no downside, definitely a step in the right direction.

2. As predicted, and vehemently protested, last year's Christmas Present sits unused. Didn't we look happy? How could Carl have been so right, and the rest of us so wrong? Boy, the grass looks good in those pics. That's one thing that did not improve in the last 12 months, the yard. Anyone interested in a used (well, not so much used) trampoline? It was so much fun, I don't really understand why we have ignored it for so long. Maybe we are all just growing up, even me.

3. It's now been TWO years!!! Two years without caffeine! I never saw it lasting this long when I started back in December of 2007. I think I deserve an A+ for this one. Last year at this time I was still struggling with the occasional headache in the migraine realm of intensity. I am happy to report than I have been headache free for most of 2009. In fact, I can't remember the last one. How's that for an improvement? In addition to sticking with my no caffeine commitment, I have started exercising daily, and eating better in general. I think that these two steps have helped finish off my tendency towards headaches.

4. Christmas in Paradise, again ... Twelve months later, same problem. Living in Hawaii is a lot like living in that movie Ground Hog Day, except that they had a nice white Christmas sort of back drop to the whole thing, and we have 80 degrees and sunshine. Don't get me wrong, it is truly AWESOME not having to ever, ever, ever scrap a windshield, or worry about your hair freezing if you don't want to spend an hour with the blow dryer in the morning. BUT .... it is hard to feel all Chrstimasy when your 5 senses tell you it should be the 4th of July. Is it wrong to serve BBQ and corn on the cob for Christmas dinner? I've made no improvement here, and might actually have back slid a bit this year. I'm not feelin' the Christmas Spirit at all and I've got less than 24 hours to get it or forget it.

5. Last December I had a rotten cold and was struggling with my Mental Filing. I am happy to report that I think that was the last time I was really sick with a bad cold or flu. I have had a very healthy 2009. I attribute the good health to the improved diet, daily exercise, and lack of caffeine. I also think that stress reduction has contributed in a big way. I have not found some magical way to live a stress free life, I have just gotten better at managing it. Letting go of my perfectionist ideals was a good place to start.

6. I have given up on the to do list ap on my iphone and gone back to my notebook. There is something about the physical act of pen to paper that really resonates for me. The tactile touch of the pen and paper, the permanent placement of the words on the page, the act of making that check mark when something is complete - it all really works well for my brain. Honestly, I love my notebooks, and I am excited to start 2010 with a really pretty new one I bought just for that occasion.

We have now been married 21 years, I still miss my family, my kids have grown up even more and I am still still just as unprepared for a tropic storm as I was a year ago. I'm still not excited about eating lamb, and I never did write that story about the missing shoes.

Gifts

A few posts ago I wrote about accepting presents from an enemy, and how that is not really such a good idea. Those presents are offered with BIG strings attached. They are not gifts, as they are not freely given. They are a trade. When we accept them we trade our future and even our freedom for immediate gratification of our desires.

A true gift is given without strings, without requirements, asking nothing in return. You don't have to do anything to qualify for a gift. Gifts are given and they are received. They can be rejected, returned or even re-gifted.

A mother's love is one of the first and most precious gifts we receive in this life. From even before the moment of birth our mother's love us. They love us completely when we are unable to give anything in return. We benefit greatly from this love throughout our life, but in the beginning, it is essential for our survival. Because of her love we have our very existence. It is many sleepless nights and years of selfless giving before a child is able to begin returning that love. As we grow, that love provides us with so many other necessary things in life, and even as an adult, a mother's love can make all the difference. A mother's love is truly a gift.

The ability to learn is a glorious gift. From the moment of birth our minds begin to learn. This process of exploring and learning need never stop. Our minds are capable of expanding and changing on a continual basis. A formal education may come at some expense, but learning is free. The world around us offers continual lessons, if we take the time to notice.

The gifts of sight, sound, smell, taste and touch are magnificent and together they fill our lives with rich experiences. Most people born on this earth have had the use of their 5 senses. Each morning when I walk I start out in the dark. The air is a little cool with the faintest hint of the sea mist in the breeze. The feel of it on my skin is invigorating. Watching as the night sky of moon and stars gives way to the sunrise never fails to impress me. The ocean sounds alive and the sight of it's vastness is humbling. Comfort to the soul arrives in the sweet scent of the plumeria trees.

Just remembering the taste of home made Christmas divinity candy transforms me into my 10 year old self and transports me to my Grandmother's kitchen. It has been decades since I have had that candy in my mouth, but my mind can recall it to perfection. Taste is a powerful gift. Imagine the joy that would be lost if our food had no flavor. Where would be the celebration in a Thanksgiving feast, or the excitement of a birthday cake without the gift of taste?

Our memories are a wonderful gift. All of the joys in life can be experienced over and over again in our memory. The lessons learned need not be forgotten. We can replay the voice of a loved one who is gone, or the giggle of a baby who is all grown up. Loved ones can live on in our memories, long after they are gone. Treasured memories make the past ever present and those joys continually experienced.

All of these gifts come from God, our Creator, our Heavenly Father. Life is wonderful and rich because of these, and many other gifts from Him. The greatest gift is that of His Son. The world celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ for a reason. Many people in the world today may not have a deep understanding of why Christmas is so important, yet they do celebrate. Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world. The ancient people understood the significance of His arrival and the traditions of celebrating this magnificent event have endured to this day. We give gifts because He gave us the greatest gift - Eternal Life.

The gift of Eternal Life is freely give to all. We will receive this gift even if we are unaware of it in this life. No qualification is necessary, it is a true Gift. Life is a gift and the lessons and experiences we have here prepare us to live eternally. We do not end, we are eternal. Our minds, our hearts, our bodies and our relationships are eternal. Because of the sacrifice of our Savior, we are able to experience this life complete with all the mistakes required for true learning, yet return and live with Him.

All I want for Christmas ....

A couple of weeks ago Shuggie, our little female dog, went into heat. As a dog owner, this is probably the top of the list of annoying and unpleasant things you have to deal with. The whole dog menstrual cycle thing is just gross - eww, ick, yuck, nasty and disgusting. A dog's sense of personal hygiene does not meet my standards.

To compound the problem, our other 2 dogs are male. Charlie came to us neutered, and Chester did not. Somewhere around the 2nd week into dog hormone hell, the boys started to go really nuts. Chester was especially afflicted. He was really suffering. All I wanted for Christmas was 2 fixed dogs!

So, last week I took them both to the vet and scheduled them to be surgically neutered asap. Surgery was yesterday. No one is acting crazy anymore. The suffering is of a different sort today. They both did really well, and neither act like they are traumatized. Today it is obvious that they are both a bit sore. I was needlessly worried about the reaction of missing their morning walk. Neither one wants to walk any further than is absolutely necessary.

So, for now I am nurse to a couple of recovering dogs. I have to keep them from licking and scratching their incisions, and in general keep them calm. If she doesn't stop messing with it, I will have to go get her a cone. As long as Charlie stays outside, things are pretty calm. Only a week to go, then things should be better than normal. Dogs without the mess and drive of reproductive organs are a good, good thing.

Brisk Hawaii Morning

It is 66 degrees this morning. That is a fine temperature for
sleeping all curled up in your favorite quilt with a dog at your feet,
or for exercising, but not for sitting at your desk. I'm cold!

I am wearing socks, a jacket and drinking a cup of Stephen's Hazelnut
Hot Cocoa (thank you to my friend for sending it to me). I am happy
for the change in seasons. It is nice to feel cold 2 days in a row!

Happy Tuesday to ya!

Winter in Paradise

This is our fifth winter in paradise and my body is fully acclimated. At 10pm it is 70 degrees and I am cold. Crazy, but true. Here I sit in the warmest room in the house in long pj's, socks and two blankets. My arms are exposed while writing this and I am thinking seriously of putting on the jacket that is next to me.

Five years ago I remember seeing people wearing jackets while waiting to catch an early morning bus. I thought they were nuts! Coming from Utah, I could only feel warm and happy when it was 70 degrees at 6am in December.

Now, I am one of those jacket wearers. I was so 'cold' the other night I turned on the heater in my car. I totally understand how illogical it is to feel cold at 70 degrees, but I do feel cold. Maybe
my blood has thinned?

It is nice to feel a difference in the seasons, however subtle they may be. The first 4 years feel like one very long,monotonous summer. Noticing the change helps me feel like summer might be finally ending and Fall is in the air. I am doubtful that it will ever really feel like Christmas to me without at least a little snow.

Presents from the Enemy

"A Warrior of Light does not accept presents from the enemy." Paulo Coelho

I read this statement on Paulo Coelho's blog this afternoon and it really made me think. What presents does the enemy offer? Which of these are we tempted to accept?

1. The Illusion of Peace. Faced with the choice between doing what you know is right and avoiding conflict, which do you choose? What compromises are you willing to make to avoid conflict with others? It isn't really peace, it's only a temporary illusion, the conflict is diverted for the moment, but not for good. Sooner or later you will have to face the truth or completely surrender. Real peace doesn't leave you with a heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach. The path of least resistance often leads in a circle.

2. Pride. The enemy of our souls is the king of pride. Pride comes packaged in beautiful wrappings with shiny bows. Taking credit for our good works, glorying in our accomplishments, and patting ourselves on the back for the success of our children all appear socially desirable, but underneath the pretty package the box is empty. When our children, or we, make mistakes, our pride crumbles and feelings of worthlessness rush in. Pride sets our self worth on a narrow pedestal which is far too easy to fall from.

3. Pleasure. In our quest for joy and happiness pleasure is often offered as a quick substitute. In the moment it feels good, and seems to meet our needs. Fleeting pleasure fades as quickly as ice cream melts on your tongue. What remains is the guilt and shame of a bloated soul. True happiness lingers, growing like a vine, in and out of all aspects of life.

Spreading the Word

If Infertility is an issue in your life, please take a moment to read the information below. While infertility is not my particular issue, Carolyn and her methods of healing have helped me in other areas. She is a wonderful, warm and caring person and a fabulous teacher. I took a 5 week tele-course from her about Energy Healing and learned so much! For me, it was time to let go of the energetic clutter, and false beliefs I had been caring around all these years, and really start to live the life God intends for me. I invite you to do the same.

Wendy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Group Phone Session ~Special F*ree Call!

Evening ~ Thurs. Dec. 10th 7 pm Mtn time
Topic: Infertility

We are approaching the Christmas season, so this year in the spirit of giving, I am offering a special Group Phone Session for no cost. I have felt a strong “spiritual nudge” to do this topic at this time, and to offer it as a free session for anyone that has had trouble conceiving or carrying a full term baby. This is for husbands as well as wives. This isn’t a new topic for me, as I’ve had many pregnancy success stories in my private practice, but this will be the first time I’ve offered it as a Group Session.

Go here to register:
http://www.calycohealing.com/groupphonesessions/

Although many of my clients got pregnant shortly after 1 energy clearing session, I cannot and will not guarantee you’ll get pregnant, but I can guarantee that if you are open and accept the work, you will clear many false beliefs, negative energy of past wounds or offenses dealing with your struggle in this area, and probably a lot of ancestral energy that is creating blockages. In other words, it will drain the intensity of those painful emotions so that you can move forward with more ease.

I need your help to spread the word about this important call.

If you know of anyone who is struggling with this painful issue and you think they would be open to energy healing, please let them know about this fr*ee call. Several of my clients who came to me for this problem were not necessarily “open” to energy work at the time, they were just so desperate after 2 or 3 rounds of invitro-therapy, that they were willing to give it a try. They are believers now, by the way. If you know someone like that, I would love to be able to help them.

If you have a blog, or know someone who does and would like to mention this call on a blog, together, we may be able to help even more people-yay!

The call won’t cost you anything, but you must go here to register to get the phone number:
http://www.calycohealing.com/groupphonesessions/

Thanks for your help in spreading the word about this important call!

Carolyn Cooper
Calyco Healing
PO Box 910546
St. George, Ut. 84790
1-888-399-flow

Clear Your Mind
Calm Your Body
Claim Your Spirit
www.CalycoHealing.com

Sunrise This Morning

When I leave my door each day with the dogs it is dark. The days are short here in Hawaii, and the moon and the stars are still out at 6am. I enjoy about 15 minutes of walking by moonlight before the splendor of the sunrise begins. It's a great way to start the day.

Give Said the Little Stream

Since sitting down to my computer this morning I have started this post at least 5 times. After writing a few lines I read it and then backspace it all. I just can't get the words to convey my thoughts this morning. My head is full of deep and conflicting thoughts. There are the thoughts on the surface of how long my list is for today, and all the other things I would like to put on that list, but don't dare. If my list gets longer than a page I tend to freak out and spend the day spinning my wheels. There are the carnal thoughts of food and how nice it would feel to climb back into bed and sleep another hour or two. Then there are the calm and quiet thoughts, the steady current of ideas flowing underneath all the swirling chaos. Those are the thoughts I want to nurture and cultivate. Those are the thoughts I want to share.

Imagine your life is a river. It starts high on a mountain top as a small but powerful stream. As time goes on you grow, and pick up speed. with the momentum of flowing forward you pick up a lot of debris. Dirt, rocks, leaves, branches, all kinds of stuff that muddy up your crystal clean water and slow down the flow. Occasionally you come to something so large, so steady that you have no choice but to go around it. You have to completely change course. Sometimes your life might even feel like white water rapids, tossing violently and crashing into immovable obstacles.

Alternately, the river of life can gently flow bringing new experiences and new views, at a comfortable pace. Picking up what's needful, and leaving behind evidence of your life in the sediment. Eventually flowing into the ocean or a lake to joining with others for a larger purpose.

This gentle flow is what I am after. I wish to gently flow through each new experience taking life as it comes without struggle. I love the Primary song, "Give Said the Little Stream". Where ever I go I want to leave the grass greener. I want to sing all through the days and give away all the good things I pick up along my journey.

Sunset

We walked the dogs to the beach this evening. What a beautiful sunset! Life is amazing!!

Words - It's all How You See Them

"Inconceivable!"
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."— William Goldman

If there are 3 people in a conversation, there can be 3 totally different conclusions, emotions, and meanings to that conversation. The words exchanged are exactly the same, but how they are interpreted, what they mean, can vary widely.

This weekend I heard someone retell a story that had great emotional impact in their life. They used that experience to make a point that was currently relevant in their life. It is clear that they have thought about that original conversation many times in the years since it occurred. The current emotions were even stronger than they were in the original expression.

I was an observer of the first exchange and a witness to the recent retelling. There was a great difference in the intentions, emotions, and meaning between the different parties involved. What one person said, the other person heard, and vice versa, they failed to communicate. The deeply meaningful memory came from a flawed understanding of the original exchange.

Both are intelligent and educated, and have many things in common. I pondered how could they understand the same words so differently. Words are powerful, but what we "think" and what we "feel" about them charge them with power.

Consider the impact of the verbal environment of upbringing. Did you grow up speaking a different language than you do now? Were there multiple languages spoken in your home? What was the education level of your parents? Did the adults in the home include you in the conversation, or were children spoken down to? Did you grow up in one area, and adopt the regional slang? Those are just the few factors that contribute to our personal understanding of language. What about the subtle differences in meaning that are passed along from generation to generation?

In some families a specific word may have a slightly negative connotation. Whenever a person from that family hears that word, it taints the conversation, and sets them up to feel negatively towards the subject at hand. The person who said it is using the word properly, and expressing themselves clearly, with no negative intention, but the hearer still gets the message wrong.

Sometimes a person uses a word, or a string of words, and they really don't express what they mean. Their basic understanding of the word is flawed, and then their expression and communication with others is flawed. They don't intend to be offensive, or send a negative message, but because of this deep misunderstanding, the communication fails.

When I first moved to St. Louis I heard people using the word "ignorant" as an insult. From my education and experience, ignorance meant a lack of knowledge and was a condition, rather than an insult. Actually the word is pronounced, "ignernt" and means that a person is being extremely rude and difficult. Totally different meaning, and completely different emotions. If I had mistakenly refered to someone who had no education on a subject as ignorant, I might have found myself punched in the face by an "ignernt" jerk.

With all these differences, how do we ever come together and truly communicate? How do we express ourselves and have our true intentions and feelings understood? A consistent education helps, but even then, we have deep personal differences.

First, I think we must seek to understand one another. Don't take what people say literally and at face value. If something doesn't seem to make sense, ask questions. Restate what you think they said, and ask if you got it right. If they mean to give offense, make them say it straight. Most times people do not intend offense and we can avoid a misunderstanding. The more we know a person, the easier it is to understand them. Take the time to get to know people you work and associate with. Not only will your communication improve, your life will be enriched.

When you are doing the speaking, it is a good idea to say things in a variety of ways. Stop and ask if others understand you, and if they have any questions. If the subject warrants, make sure to clearly state your intended feels and emotions. If you are speaking in public and asking the crowd to answer questions is not possible, restate your point to make sure you are clear.

Words always mean something, but not always the same thing to everyone.

Good Stocking Stuffer Ideas

I know Thanksgiving isn't here yet, but it never hurts to get a head start. Avon has some good ideas for stocking stuffers and other Christmas items.
My Mom always filled our stockings with plenty of fun, but useful items. With Christmas packaging, and fun holiday scents many of the Avon items are a natural fit. Check out the bubble bath, Pj's, lip balm, etc.

Halloween is for Leprechauns

Quincie did a little holiday mashup for Halloween. As you can see from the pics below, she was a leprechaun. She is a big fan of green (check out the green sock monkey sitting on the green curtains, and the green snoopy sitting on the lamp). She is also a big fan of hats. Thus the dilemma of which hat to wear for her costume. I think they both look pretty cute, but there might just be a little bias in that opinion.
Quincie and I went to a party hosted by some friends from church. It was a New Moon, pre-premiere party, and very fun. She went trick or treating for a while with a couple of friends who were also at the party. My costume was rather dull. I was Bella - on a regular school day. I wore jeans, a t-shirt, gray converse and a hoodie. Basically I just looked like me. No photo necessary.

My New Car

Last night I had to run to the store kind of late. It was a beautiful night. The moon was full and the clouds were slowly moving across it. When they were just so they were glowing brilliantly with the light of the moon. The temperature was perfect, so I rolled down my windows to feel the breeze. Did ya hear that? I rolled down MY windows! I just love this new car!

Being able to drive with the windows down is only one of the many wonderful things about my new car. It's pretty (bright shiny blue). It's paid for(thanks to Carl!!!). It's comfortable. My grown up sized kids fit comfortably in the back seat. Most importantly, everything works just as it should.

The Cricket

Have you ever heard the story of the crickets and the seagulls? When the first group of Mormon pioneers arrived in the Salt Lake valley, they immediately planted crops. They spent the winter living in simple log homes with mud and thatch roofs. Spring arrived and their roofs began to leak with Spring rain. They planted crops from the seeds of that first harvest, and prayed for abundance.

The crops began to grow, and things were looking up. Then mid summer the crickets showed up. They kept coming and coming and eating everything within sight. Everyday they ate more and more of the precious crops. The people did what they could to get rid of them. They tried loud noises, shooing them, and even fire. They prayed for help, but the crickets kept coming.

Finally, they held a community fast and prayer. As a united body of saints they prayed and asked God to spare their crops from the crickets, so that they would not starve.

Yesterday when I was telling this story to my class of 9 and 10 year olds I stopped to explain what a cricket was. Crickets are not common in Hawaii, and many of the children in my class had never seen one. A couple of the boys that have lived on the mainland were helping me in the explanation when one of them cried out, "Sister Minks, there's a cricket on the wall!".

Sure enough, there on the classroom wall was a small black cricket. Everyone rushed over to look at it. They were able to see exactly what a cricket was. It just sat there and slowly walked along the white concrete wall. They marveled that God sent them a cricket!

The cricket wandered away and I continued the story. Soon after fasting and praying for help, massive flocks of seagulls began to arrive. They ate the crickets until they were full, then flew to a nearby creek and vomited, then flew back to the fields and ate more crickets. The seagulls stayed for 3 weeks, eating and purging, until all of the crickets were gone and the remainder of the crops were saved. That Fall they held a celebration giving thanks to God for the gulls, and their abundant harvest.

Like God sent the pioneers the seagulls, he sent us a cricket. Our needs, great or small, are important to our Heavenly Father. He answers prayers and teaches us, if we but open our hearts and minds miracles are all around us.

Love vs. Fear

"Don't give in to your fears. If you do you won't be able to talk to your heart."
Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist

Fear and love are spiritual and energetic opposites. They are mutually exclusive. If you are full of love, there is no room for fear. Conversely, if you are full of fear, there is no room for love.

When your heart is half and half, you are stuck. Something has to give, the fear needs to go.

Love is freedom. Love is peace. Love is the absence of fear. No fear of rejection, no fear of abandonment, no fear of loss.

The reality of life is that you will most likely be rejected sometimes. You might be abandoned, and you will certainly suffer loss of some sort. These experiences are a natural part of life. It is not these blows that rob us of love. It is the fear of these experiences that steal the joy from us.

When we let the fear of loss prevent us from fully living then we have given into our fears and can no longer communicate with our heart. Our heart will be shut off, disconnected, and dormant. The raging negative emotion of fear will rule the day and in the attempt to prevent us from future hurts, will disconnect us for all that is worthwhile in life.

Tubely is the Devil

After working at my computer doing mundane tasks for most of the afternoon, I received an email from a good friend. It was an invitation to be her friend on Tubely. Normally I don't click on those sort of things without doing at least a little research first. I had never heard of Tubely.com, but, I was tired, and my scam radar was down. She is such a good friend, and I would never want her to feel "reject"ed. I did the unspeakable - I clicked "yes"! Shocking, but none the less true!

They got me. The initial form required all sorts of personal data. I did the usual and left those areas blank. When they insisted these fields be completed before proceeding, I gave them fake data. When that didn't work (How do they know my phone number isn't 808-888-8888 and that I don't live on blank St.?? I could be that lucky. I really could!), my radar finally kicked in and I started looking for the chicken switch. I needed out of this line BEFORE the roller coaster took off!

The more I clicked, the deeper I plunged into the Tubely mayhem. I still don't know for sure what they are all about, but they certainly know how to program an infinity loop of chaos! I eventually found the escape hatch and canceled my account. Interestingly, it took at least twice as many steps to cancel as it did to sign up. I wasn't even sure I HAD signed up, since I never completely, or correctly filled out their stupid form.

Still dizzy from all the looping, I went back to my work. My inbox started filing up with Tubely invites - from myself, to myself. Apparently, somewhere along that journey the lovely dears at Tubely had hijacked my contact list. I use gmail, which like an elephant, never forgets a contact. Anyone I have ever emailed, or has emailed me, in the last 6 years got an email this afternoon asking if they wanted to be Wendy Minks friend on Tubely. Even the customer service dudes at Audible got that email.

I sure hope that no one was as blinded as I was and actually clicked "yes". Since I deleted my Tubely account, I am not sure what will happen if someone does, other than Tubely will undoubtedly ask for all of their deeply personal data and immediately start sending emails to all of their contacts.

Needless to say, I was most displeased. How totally embarrassing that every business contact for the last 6 years now thinks I want to be their friend on this stupid site. I wanted to send those jerks an email and let them know just what I thought of their business practices. The "contact us" tab took me to a reset password page. Apparently these geniuses think that the only reason anyone would want to contact them is to reset their password.

I found the email they sent me asking if I was sure that I wanted to delete my account for the umpteenth time, and hit reply. It probably goes into a giant spam folder, never to be seen by human eyes, but I sent it anyway. In that email I promised that I would tell all of my friends what I thought of their site, and encourage them not to sign up.


So .... I wrote this post, and I am telling all the world just what I think of Tubely. I hereby apologize to all of my contacts, everyone I ever emailed, or who ever emailed me, for letting the Devil, I mean Tubely, send you an email this afternoon. I sincerely hope that none of you liked me enough to go against your better judgment and click "yes", that you would be my friend. If you did, bless you for your kindness. If you are now in my shoes, feel free to pass this message on to your contact list. The madness has to stop somewhere!

NOTE: 11/1/2009 - If you are looking for the opt out button on Tubely, you won't find it. I was finally able to delete my account by going to the "help" tab, "FAQ's" and clicking on the "How do I delete my Tubely Account" link. They will then send you an email to confirm that you do indeed wish to cancel your account. Good Luck!

Wendy Minks has invited you to Tubely

	Wendy Minks wants to be your friend
WendyMinks 41/F/Ewa Beach United States	Do you want to add Wendy Minks to your friends network ? Accept Reject

Privacy Policy Unsubscribe Terms and Conditions Here is a funny one - Tubely auto sent an invite to my blogger email. This was auto posted to my blog within seconds! Hilarious!

Strive vs. Struggle

A man is struggling to climb a mountain. Each step on the path is steep and rocky. His footing is unsure, sometimes he slides a little sideways, or even backwards, yet he labors onward. The higher he gets, the more ragged his breathing, as each lungful has less and less oxygen. His face is hard with concentration, and grimaced bracing for the pain of the next step, the next breath. Ever onward, ever pushing, ever climbing, ever suffering in the struggle to reach the top. When he arrives his body is spent, feet swollen, muscles aching, head pounding, exhausted, he collapses to the barren ground, gasping for air.

Our journey through life can be a struggle. It can be just like this man climbing the mountain, full of hard effort, set backs, pain, and finally achievement of our goals by the sheer force of our will to succeed. We can set our foot on the rocky path, and steel our hearts for the long, hard journey ahead, knowing it will be difficult and full of adversity. At the end of our days our bodies and souls are broken and spent, full of the scars of our struggle, diseased and in pain collapsing into death, hoping for rest in the next life.

On the other side of that same mountain is a man striving to climb the mountain. He has the same goal - to reach the summit. His path is equally as steep and the journey is long. He has invited his friends along, and they talk as they climb. At the most treacherous peak, he slips on the loose rocks and falls. His friends help him to his feet, placing him back on the safe path. They continue to strive onward, marveling at the beautiful vistas only visible from that altitude. As the air thins, the talking dwindles and the walking slows, but upward they strive. Breathing deeply, relaxing into the effort, letting their bodies set the pace. Going slowly they notice the rocks, before they trip. He is aware of the details of the great beauty all around, the plants the trees, the flowers and the rocks. As the man reaches the summit, he stands arm in arm with his friends, smiling into the warmth of the sun, surrounded by the majesty of all that lies below.

Our journey through life does not have to be a struggle. We can instead choose to strive for success with a smile on our face and loved ones at our side, enjoying the journey. Anticipate the joy and the beauty, rather than the pain and the difficulty. Aim high and strive with all your might to get there. But get there happy, and whole, surrounded by those you love.

"When we strive to become better than we were, everything around us becomes better too."
"When we love we always become better than we are."
Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist"

The Quest

Much of the conversation of life is negative. TV is predominately negative, dramas about murder, news about natural disasters, crime, discussions about politics and the economy. It doesn't matter what your opinion is, or political position, the presentation of the information generally comes from a negative perspective. Even pure entertainment like reality shows focus on conflict, scandal, winners and losers.

TV and other forms of media are within our ability to control. All we have to do is switch the power off, or change the channel. Our daily personal interactions are a different matter.

Tomorrow, pay attention to all of the conversations you have from the moment you wake up to the time you go to sleep. Many of you will find that they are based in a negative thought or belief. Even this blog, in an attempt to stem the tide of negativity, is presenting the issue in a negative manner. I'm just not sure how else to explain it.

Hence the Quest, to change my daily conversations so they are mostly positive and eliminate as much negative as possible from life. Every time a horror story is retold, we give our time and attention to that negative energy. By so doing, we give it power to hurt us again. Sharing our unhappiness does not lift the burden, it spreads it.

Here is my plan:

1. Stop telling horror stories. No more retelling of how bad the accident was, or how rude the clerk was, or how terrible this thing or that was.

2. Listen more and talk less.

3. Do not gossip or listen to gossip.

4. Control my self talk. You know, that voice in your head that talks to you all day long, that tells you you are stupid when you make a mistake, or berates you when you are rushing and running late for not being better organized, the voice that scolds and whines and complains. The first step has been to stop them before they hit my lips. The next step is to stop them before I think them.

If I seem unusually quiet for awhile, now you know why. It may take awhile for me to figure out just what to say with my new set of rules.

Words have power, and the spoken word is incredibly powerful. We create our lives each moment by the words we speak and the words of others that we hear. My intention is to shift the energy of my life and the lives of those around me, into the realm of positive my changing the way I speak to others and to myself. Won't you join me on the Quest?

UPDATE:
10/30/2009

This is harder than I thought .....

Just today, I have retold my own horror story (or more correctly storIES - see the post above), complained (again I refer you to the post above), and berated myself for doing such. At least I haven't gossiped, or at least I think I haven't, and I have honestly tried to be a better listener.

More to come ....

Life is for Living

Life is for living, money is for spending, clothes are for wearing, and food is for eating.

There is always another day, the sun sets, the sun rises, each day comes with a new 24 hours for us to live. One day will be our personal last, but even then, the days will continue for others. Time does not run out, it continually replenishes.

The stuff of life is just the same. It is only an illusion caused by our fear and short sightedness that makes us think we might run out of something. The World is full of all the things we need and want. There is no danger of running out of food any more than there is any danger of time running out. Plants grow, rocks form, and animals are born. It happens continuously, without any effort from us. Each substance fills the measure of it's creation, follows it's divine intention to perfection.

An oak tree always starts as an acorn. There are not any oak trees out there that used to be rose bushes. Rain always comes from rain clouds and rain clouds come from evaporation. Rain drops don't start out as pebbles in a stream. So it is with us. We have always been who we are. Our divine and powerful nature is constant, only our fear makes us believe differently. Only mankind has this ability of self delusion. The rest of nature never has an identity crisis. Our mind is the most powerful of all God's creations, and our mind is capable of convincing us that God does not exist.

Fear and doubt are only products of the mind. They teach us to worry, and fret and otherwise stress. There is no productive outcome from fear or doubt. They do not help us. They do not save us from certain doom. They do not even put one more dollar in our pocket, or add one more minute to our life. They rob us of joy, and keep us from love.

Life is infinitely good. Eat the roast in the freezer. Saving it will only ruin it. Wear your favorite shirt, drive your car, pick some flowers, spend your money. Let them fill the measure of their creation. Let them fulfill their intention. Live life and fulfill yours.

21 Days to Create a Habit

As you know from my previous posts, I was attempting to run on my own with my dogs. I had a mixed bag of success and difficulties. My knees hurt, my breathing was whack, I bought new shoes, worked out the breathing, and bought a new leash that helped the dogs not get so tangled when I took 2 at once. My usual route covered 4 miles (2 out, 2 back), and I would run about half of it. Typically I would go around 6pm, and be home just before it started to get dark. I wasn't going everyday, too much of life is still happening at 6pm, and it is just not a good idea to be out on foot in my neighborhood after dark. There are no sidewalks, and cars go too fast for the narrow streets.

Three weeks ago my friend Cathy and I started walking in the mornings. I drop Quincie off at Seminary at 5:55am, go grab the dogs, and head out. I run from my house to our meeting point, and then we walk for a couple of miles and back to her house. After a brief, or sometimes not so brief, rest on her front porch, the dogs and I run home. The whole affair usually takes about an hour to an hour and a half, depending mostly on the length of the rest.

We walk every weekday, taking Saturday and Sunday off. This past friday was the end of our third week. The kids have been off school for Fall break, but we still walked at our regular time.

This routine is working well for me. I have not re-injured my knees. We walk fast, and for the first few days I had sore muscles where I wasn't sure I even had muscles. The combination of running and walking is good. I get my heart rate up and keep it up for the better part of an hour. The intensity of the workout varies over the course of that hour, and that is supposed to be positive for the heart as well.

Normally at that time of day I would either have come home and gone back to sleep, or would be sitting at my computer attempting to get a jump start on the day. I never have a conflict on my calendar at that hour. It is the coolest time of day to be outside. It is much warmer at 6pm than at 6am. Lately, it has been dark when I leave my house. I think it is pretty cool to watch the sunrise every morning.

Exercise, sunshine, and good conversation is an excellent way to start the day. It gives me energy, and enthusiasm that an extra hour of sleep just wouldn't. Trying to squeeze an extra early hour of work in just makes me tired an hour earlier. Getting outside, and on my feet with the dogs and my good friend, has been great! I actually go to bed at night looking forward to waking up and going on our walk.

I haven't lost any weight, but that was not my intention. My endurance has increased. The new dog, Shuggie, (I have agreed to call her this name in exchange for a car. I personally think I am coming out the winner in this one.) likes to bolt. If there is a crack in the door, out she goes. She is off like a bullet down the street. The other day I chased her at full sprint, for about 2 miles. I didn't get out of breath, my knees didn't give out, and I eventually caught the dumb little thing and carried her home. A couple of months ago, I am not sure I could have done that.

Consistent, daily exercise has calmed Charlie down significantly. Chester could run for miles and miles. He is up before my alarm and ready to go every morning. Neither of them understand that I take weekends off. They were up at 5:30am today crying. I was awake, but not crying. Experts say it take 21 days to create a habit. I think in this case, it just might be true. I am looking forward to walking again tomorrow.

I Don't Want to Be Grounded, or do I?

I was scolded yesterday for not posting a new blog in over a week. I was threatened with grounding, if I didn't have something up by tonight. I'm not sure just how Tif thinks she can ground me with several thousand miles and an ocean between us, but I don't like to get in trouble, so I am doing as I am told.

It has actually be over 2 weeks since I have posted anything new here. I am not sure why. I have been busy, but I'm always busy. That excuse just doesn't fly. My good friend Erin always says, "If you want something done, ask a busy person." She's right. Busy people know how to get things done.

I think maybe being grounded would be nice. If I had to stay at home, and even better, stay in my room, maybe I would actually make the time to write something. Maybe it would even be interesting, or creative. I would certainly sleep if I were grounded, and if I couldn't leave my room I wouldn't get distracted by the kitchen, and all it's demands, or even be able to do much work.

Well, Tif, here you go - not 1, but 2 posts for ya today!

It's Been a Week

My boy is gone. He is grown and off to college. Life has changed, and I am adjusting. I was excited for him, and sad for me when I drove him up to Laie and moved him into his dorm last Saturday. It has been a dynamic week. I'm not sad anymore. I miss him, would like to see his happy face sitting in the green chair watching King of the Hill, but I'm not sad. I am really happy for him, and grateful.

Our fridge is full of left overs that will never be eaten - unless I give them to the dogs. I am not sure how to adjust all the standard family recipes to be for 1 less person. How do you make tacos for 3? Ground beef doesn't come in 3/4 pound packages, and what am I going to do with 1/4 of a can of black beans? I have WAY too much chili in a zip lock that I am pretty sure will go straight to the trash in a few days.

Chester and Charlie look disappointed when they push their way in his room and find it empty. Chester vented his feelings by peeing in there the other day. I wonder what that meant exactly - "Dang it Ryker, you jerk, where are you?" or "Now that you are gone, I claim this space for myself!" Poor puppy doesn't understand.

Today in church when they released the priesthood to sit with their families, I started to slide over and make room. So much of parenting is automatic like that. If I should wake up in the middle of the night, my routine is to check on everyone, kids, dogs, and make sure all are as they should be. Now I do a mental check when I come to his door - Laie - check.

Ryker is exactly where he needs to be, doing exactly what he should. He is happy, and excited, and I love that. I am so grateful that he has this opportunity to be there this year. It is a good place. Spending some time on campus this week was great. It is a good school, with good people. The classes are small and the Spirit is strong. What a great environment for learning and preparing for his mission.

Under My Desk

As I sit and write my latest post, these 2 are sleeping at my feet.  Aren't they cute?

Gray, Brown, Orange, Red and Brown Again

In my birthday post a couple weeks ago I failed to mention something. It was intentionally left out. Now that things have been put to rights, I am ready to share my story.

I have been going to the same salon for about 4 years. I really like these ladies. They are about my age, their kids are similar in age to mine, and they have hair like I do. They have been in business together for about 20 years, and I admire their success and longevity. I have always been happy with their services. About a year ago they put highlights in and did some spot color to help me cover the grays. I hate those grays and in the end, pulling them out was only going to make me bald. So, I decided to let them do a little color. It looked great and grew out very naturally.

A few days before my birthday this year I decided that I wanted to go have that done again. I wanted to spend a few hours at the salon, relax, and come out looking fabulous. I called up and made the appointment for 11am. That would give us plenty of time to enjoy our breakfast celebration, and I would be home by early afternoon.

Arriving right on time, I was in the chair and on my way to looking great. I told her what I wanted, a trim and the same hair color as last time, subtle highlights with a deep reddish hue, no blond. A couple of hours later I was sitting with my head in the sink, trying to relax. My neck was killing me. The chair was too low or something. I squirmed and struggled, trying to get comfortable. I don't know why I was sitting in that chair, with my head in the sink for all that time. It was at least half an hour. Usually don't you sit with your hair under the hood, or just in the regular chair while the chemicals do their stuff?? I don't know, but I was in the chair, with my head hanging backwards and my neck killing me for way too long. I think she forgot I was there.

The noise of my struggling brought me back to her attention, and she was quickly over to me rinsing my hair and applying some other smelly goo. I then had the special treat of sitting in that chair with my head hanging and my neck tweaked even longer. I said something and she produced another towel to put between my head and the edge of the sink.

Around 2pm I am sitting in the normal chair, and she is cutting my hair. After a few minutes I realize that I am facing away from the mirror, and haven't seen my hair since the color process. As she is cutting, one of her friends arrives at the salon and comes over to chat. Apparently she is the next appointment and is on a tight schedule between picking up children from school. Yes, it is now the time of day when schools are letting out.

They are concerned about their friend that is also a stylist and owner at that salon. She fell and hurt herself the night before and cannot move her right hand. It is totally numb. The story of the previous night begins to unfold.

The 3 of them, all in their 40's, and now single, went out partying the night before. My birthday was on Friday, so they were out livin it up on a Thursday night. The one that hurt herself, was wearing a super short, skirt and very high heels. She was dancing and some man tried to kiss her legs. Her skirt was so tight that lifting her leg up caused her to slip and fall. The ladies were concerned for their friend, but laughed and laughed about the crazy man trying to kiss her legs.

Apparently they had been to 4 or 5 different clubs, drinking and dancing. They were all dressed to kill and had all the free drinks they wanted. They made it home some where around 4am. All I could think was -

She was still drunk! Or at best, really, really hung over!! Holy Crap - a drunk lady just did my hair!

Somewhere towards the end of the drunken party story, she finished with my hair, and spun me around. I had been there for over 3 hours and this was the first I had seen of myself. There were large sections of nasty orange blond in my hair. Some near the front were small, narrow sections, and others, in the back were big chunks. The cut looked a little off too. It might have just been an optical illusion from the weird color - I'm not sure. She could tell that I wasn't pleased, (tears are a dead give away) and offered to color it again the following week if I couldn't get used to it. I wanted it fixed immediately, but I was late for a work appointment, and I had to get out of there.

Adding insult to injury, I paid for my torture and disfigurement, and left. My hair felt terrible, it was hard to run my fingers thorough and when I looked in the mirror I wanted to cry. Upon arriving home I immediately washed my hair, hoping that terrible straw-like feeling was not permanent. Thankfully, that was just product, and washed right out. Looking in the mirror I discovered a large chunk, with no color at all, dead center in the back of my head. Aghhhh!!!

After I finished screaming, I called the salon. I expressed just how unhappy I was, described the uncolored section on the back of my head, and asked what time she would be in the next morning. I was not going to get "used to" looking bad, and it needed fixed immediately.

The next day I was there and she recolored it with the requested deep red tones. I don't know what the heck she did, but it was really really red. I think she stripped my hair the day before and now the normal color that was usually subtle, was obnoxious. It was so much better than the blond, no color, that I felt much better, and considered it fixed. I thought I could get used to it now.

After a few days it started to fade. The large chunks and uneven distribution of the highlights still bothered me. It just wasn't done right. Sheesh - she was DRUNK, tired, hung over, and certainly not fit to be doing my hair! I talked to my pal Stacy that does hair. She said she could fix it.

I have been wearing my hair in a ponytail, and avoiding mirrors all week. It has been crazy week with getting Ryker off to school, and all the orientation events for families of new students. It has been such a fun week, but no time to go see Stacy for the fix. Stacy has a busy life and our schedules didn't jive.

Yesterday I went to Target. While trying on a shirt, I saw the back of my head in those crazy mirrors they have let you see yourself from all angles. Aghhh! It looked horrible! All those random sized and placed chunks of color, and worst of all - that spot, in the center of the back of my head, with no color, was back! It still had a faint reddish tint, but it was fading fast, and looking BAD! I didn't buy the shirt, I just wanted the heck away from those mirrors!

Last night Stacy fixed my hair, and I am so happy! It is all one color again, nice and dark, and normal looking. I am now able to walk by a mirror and not cringe.

There is an important lesson here. No matter how well you think you know your hair stylist, DON'T let them do your hair the morning after an all night drinking party. When you arrive at the salon, right off, ask what did you do last night?, how much sleep did you have? are you well rested? in pain? upset about anything? drunk? hungover? If they answer "yes" to any of these - RUN AWAY!!!!

Honey

Last Monday Carl and Ryker were doing a home inspection in Makaha. It was a duplex in rather poor condition, currently occupied by at least twice as many people as it was designed for. Out in the yard was Honey, a Pomeranian, Jack Russel mix of about a year old. She was barking at Carl and he went up to talk to her and pet her. He asked the residents her name, and someone said it was Honey. He said she was cute, and they suggested he take her home.

I was on the phone with Carl taking the inspection notes,and thought he must be nuts to bring home a third dog. Heavens, two is quite enough! He whispered that he would explain later. As soon as they were in the truck, Carl began to explain. She was on a heavy chain, that was tangled up leaving her about 2 feet of length. She had no food or water. Before he could start the engine, she had found half a danish and gulped it down.

Honey now lives the life of a pampered princess. She sleeps on our bed, curled up next to her rescuer. She has gained some weight in the last week, but you can still feel every rib under her shiny black fur. She was so thin it made me want to cry when I first held her. It makes me sad to think how some people treat innocent animals.

Chester thinks Carl brought her home just for him. They play and play and play. When she got outside without a leash, Chester came to get me. She put Charlie in his place a couple of times, and now he just leaves her alone. We now have a "pack" of dogs with a tiny cute thing in the lead.

Birthday Flowers from my Mom

My birthday was Friday and my Mom sent me flowers. They are so pretty - I love them! Tulips are one of my favorite flowers and they don't grow here in Hawaii. It makes me smile to see tulips on my table.

Friday was a pretty terrific day. It started out with breakfast at Zippy's with friends - Cathy, Angela, Veda and Fono. Hot chocolate and bacon are a fabulous way to start a day and another year on this planet.

Carl and Ryker came home with a really cool gadget for me. I do love gadgets! It is the new Jabra Halo stereo bluetooth headset. Very cool indeed!

That night we went to dinner at Outback which we all thoroughly enjoyed.

My friends and family are awesome! Thanks for such a great day and making me feel so loved and special!

A Million Years or Three Hours

Here it is Monday again. The last 7 days went by as if they were 3 hours. Last Monday seems a million years ago. Last Monday I had an idea for a blog post. That was so long ago, I have totally forgotten all but the thought that there was an idea. It was a busy week, and I recall having several good ideas I wanted to write about along the way. As of this moment - my brain is completely blank.

It's a good thing I keep a note book with all my lists and notes. My son makes fun of all my lists, but he has much of his good life to thank for those lists. Over the last 18 years he has no idea how many times his needs have been on my list. It's been a pretty constant string of doctor, dentist, school, scouts, church, paper work and deadlines. All accomplished, pretty much on time, without fail.

Thanks to the notebook I can look back on this week and see what happened, and maybe I can reclaim a creative thought or two.

Well, we had 5 home inspections, 3 appraisal reports, 4 trips to the bank, 3 to the credit union, 2 to the post office, 2 dinners with friends, 1 breakfast birthday party, 1 new dog, 2 trips to Petco, 1 trip to Target, 2 visits to Costco, filled the gas tank twice, took comp photos, updated 2 spreadsheets a few times, scheduled 3 new inspections, logged new orders, drove Q to seminary 3 out of 5 days, went to the pool, got my hair done-twice, went to Outback for dinner, checked the mail, listened to Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, took Q to YM, went to the beach, bathed the dogs, mowed the lawn, vacuumed 3 times, spot cleaned the carpet, washed 10 or so loads of laundry, washed dishes, cooked dinner at least 3 times, finalized Ryker's financial aid documents for college, turned 41, took the dogs on a walk twice, fixed my broken car window, refilled the power steering fluid in my car, went to church, taught primary, took a nap, cleaned the bathroom, chased the new dog down the street in my bathrobe, and painted my toe nails.

So, there you go, that wraps up my last seven days. Sound like fun?

Whatever creative thoughts I had are not coming back to me. The next time one hits me, I will grab my handy dandy notebook and write it down.

Here's to a great week!

Just Dance

Ever since I can remember, I have loved to dance. My first solid memory of dancing is very specific. I was a very small girl, only 3 or 4 years old. I was with my Grandma Edlyn at the Rainbow, yes a bar, but it was during the day. She would go there and talk with her friends, play pool, and drop quarters in the juke box for me. They served food and I remember eating cheeseburgers and french fries with her there. I think that is probably where I first started to love fountain Coca Cola. Coke is great out of those soda guns they have, the syrup rich and the carbonation just right. Anyway, it was a hot summer day in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It was too hot to play outside or sit in her house, so we went to the Rainbow for lunch and friends.

Grandma handed me a quarter and I walked over to the juke box on the other side of the room. It was dark and quiet. The place was pretty empty during the day. I reached up, on the tips of my toes and dropped the quarter in the slot. Magically the juke box came to life, bright colors and the whirring motor. I had to find the right buttons to push to play the songs I wanted. I could reach, just barely. There's the "A" button, all the way to the left, on the top row, and then go down to the numbers and count over, 1, 2, 3, 4. That's it A4. The rack of single records started to rotate, and the arm reached over and pulled it out. The needle hit the vinyl, and crackled to life. "Rain Drops Keep Falling on my Head" filled the silent air and I began to twirl and dance and sing along. "Just like the guy who's feet are too big for his bed, nothing seems to fit ..." I thought that line was really funny. I imagined Abraham Lincoln, in his top hat, trying to sleep in a twin bed.

I was alone in my little corner. Alone in the pure joy of music and air conditioning on a hot summer day. I was free - I was happy - I was completely unaware that there was a right way to dance or a correct way to sing. I was dancing and belting it out in complete oblivion. "Because I'm Free ... Nothin's worrying me".

I am sure that Grandma and her friends watched and listened, yet they did not say a word. I am grateful for that. The world of harsh criticism would come soon enough. In those moments I felt alive and free and full of wonder at the world. Music makes me happy.

My mother was always singing and dancing at home. I loved our home full of music. I loved my singing mommy. I remember asking her one day how she could make her voice sound just like all the people who sang on the radio. She laughed, and said, "I do?" I think she sings just like Karen Carpenter, only better.

On Saturday's we always watched American Bandstand with mom. Mom and Rik and I would dance with all the people on the show. They would play the top hits of the week, and sometimes there would be a live performance. It was so much fun. It was the heart of the 70's - Disco was the rage, and we could DO the hustle. I wasn't allowed to know that that meant, because it was not nice for children, but we could do the dance!

At slumber parties with my friends we would have dance competitions, ala Saturday Night Fever. One friend lived in a house with open stairs and landings on multiple levels. That was our favorite place to have these dance parties. It was almost like American Bandstand right there in Nancy's entry way.

We used to go to the skating rink as often as possible. That was almost like dancing. The music was loud and I could really skate. I had big pom poms on mine - white with blue tips, of course. I would skate everyday if I could. "I Like that Old Time Rock N Roll" I could roll and roll and roll. Just keep that music playing!

By the time high school rolled around we were all trying to learn to moon walk. Carol Cuellar could do it. She had this stretch of really smooth, painted concrete out in front of her house that was the perfect place to practice. If I could put on a pair of Keds I might be able to do it today! There were school dances and church dances. It was El Paso so there were Quincineras, and oh, the weddings! The wedding dances were the best! Live bands and records. "Where did you come from where did you go? Where did you come from, Cotton Eyed Joe?"

I started taking real dance classes in 9th grade. I wanted to be a dancer. While I was dancing to Neal Diamond at the Rainbow, the girls who were really good had been in ballet and tap class. What I lacked in traditional training and skill, I made up for in enthusiasm. I was just happy to be there.

By my Junior year I was taking a couple of dance classes a day, was on the flag team and was an alternate on the school dance team, Orchesis. I went to every dance I could, and literally danced every day of my life, except maybe on Sundays, sometimes.

When we lived in Utah, Carl was part of a band. They practiced in our basement a couple nights a week. I LOVED that! I loved our house full of music. I would be up in the kitchen, making dinner, and singing and dancing away. Everyone was downstairs and the music was so loud that no one but the kids had any idea of what I was up to. I loved our happy music house! The live performances with the band were awesome! Now I love it when Carl and Ryker play. I am not a musician, I am a musician lover. I marvel at the ability to produce music. Music is magical, it can stir me deep inside like nothing else.

I have no grand delusion that I am or ever will be a serious, professional, dancer. But I am a dancer, as in one who dances. I love to dance, and I love the way music makes me feel, deep in my bones, in my heart, in my soul. Music makes me happy, music makes me want to move. When I am dancing, "nothin's worrying me, because I'm free".

Frustration

My dogs have drug me into running with them. I really enjoy going for a good walk in the evening and watching the sunset. Chester and Charlie would rather run than walk, so I have started running with them. I like the adrenalin burn, and the idea of getting more of a work out. What I don't enjoy is the burning in my chest as a gasp for breath and the searing pain in my knees.

I was walking the dogs in my slippers - not the best idea. No wonder my knees hurt. After a trip to Sports Authority, where I spent more on a pair of running shoes than I have ever spent on any single pair of shoes, of any sort, I was set. The shoes make a huge difference. I would not have believed it, but it is true. If they looked better I would wear them all the time. They really are comfortable. They did not, however, make any difference what so ever in my lungs.

After Googling "breathing" I was totally confused. I couldn't even take a good breath while sitting in my chair. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn't do it. I really couldn't do it when I was trying to run. It seems stupid to say that I couldn't breathe. How could I not breathe? I have been breathing since the day I was born haven't i? I talked to a friend that is an avid runner, and they helped me with a very simple method. So, now my lungs don't hurt and I can actually breathe effectively.

About 10 days ago I was out in my new shoes, with the dogs, and feeling full of confidence in my new breathing ability. What skill! Anyway, I decided to really sprint with the dogs - let them set the pace for the last several blocks toward home. I can not run as fast as my dogs. Even if Godzilla were chasing me, I could not run as fast as these 2 dogs. I did my best, but I screwed up my knees. They hurt like crazy by the next morning and were so stiff I had a hard time unfolding them to stand up. I felt like a broken barbie doll - snapped at the knees.

About this same time I started fighting a virus of some sort. I have been tired, but with sheer determination, I have conquered the day, and not been sick. In an effort to let my old bones heal, and conserve my energy for fighting off the virus, I have not been out running, or walking, with the dogs. I also started taking some Glucosamine Condroitn stuff for joints. I figure it can't hurt, and these old knees need all the help they can get. I am not sure how much cartiledge is even left in there.

Anyway, I have been a slug, sitting around the house and not getting any exercise or sun. Today I just couldn't take it anymore. I was so frustrated with this crazy spreadsheet I was fighting with that I wanted to scream. Instead of screaming, I went out with the dogs. It felt good, but it was hard. I can't believe that one week of sitting on my butt could get me that out of shape. Maybe I was more sick than I thought I was? I don't know, but it wore me out, big time. I ran some, but not too much, I stopped as soon as my knees started to hurt. I don't want to re-injure them. I don't want to give up. I really need the exercise and sun on a regular basis. It is so frustrating that my body doesn't do what I want it to.