There have been times of war, world war, where seemingly the entire planet was in chaos and dread, but each country, each location on the planet suffered differently. Some were intense while others were so remote as to be unaffected. There were place of escape and retreat. When other diseases have swept the earth they started in isolated pockets while the rest of the world was unaware. The pace of life was slower and the rate of human travel and communication was MUCH slower, thereby dragging out the spread of illness, or even knowledge of it's existence, across the globe. Some areas were able to escape untouched, and many people continued to live their lives unaware of the devastation.
Global access to instantaneous information changes everything. We know when it started, we know where it spread to first and how quickly. We know how many are infected today, how many died, how many have been tested. We have seen the photos of Italy. We are not living in ignorant bliss while the pestilence rages in our direction. The story hasn't been pieced together by the survivors as a tale of warning to future generations. It's being told, and heard, in real-time by millions and millions who face the same threat. The voice of warning from the dust isn't dust yet, or just barely so. We have been warned.
How do we act based on those warnings? What do we do with the knowledge of what is coming? I am sure my fears, worries, challenges, actions, reactions and thoughts about COVID-19 are not unique, neither are they universal. It's an odd thing to be struggling alone in my head with what feels very personal while surrounded by an entire planet of people who know just what I'm going through. There are many different ways of looking at the same set of circumstance and handling the resulting stress.
First there are those that are in denial. I understand them. If they don't believe it, it isn't real. If everyone is just blowing it out of proportion and over reacting, then they have nothing to fear. It's a simple psychological coping mechanism - the first stage of grief. If there is no virus, then there is no danger. Simple, straightforward, problem solved. There is no problem, except for the people who insist there is a problem.
Then there are the people who are angry. Angry at the responsible parties - scientists, labs, conspiring governments foreign and abroad, bat eaters, heedless travelers, close talkers, nose pickers, hoarders, spring break partiers, etc. Angry at those that haven't done enough, those are doing too much, those that did things differently than they would have. Anyone that gets in the way, anyone that stops the normalcy of life is a target of their anger. Anger is usually a reaction to fear. They are angry and afraid looking for a dragon to slay. They need someone to blame and something to fight. It's another pretty easily understood psychological response to a threat with a straightforward coping method. Find the monster, kill the monster. Except, this monster is not so easily identified, contained, or killed. It's elusive and invisible to the naked eye. Beware the pitchforks if this group gets organized towards a common enemy.
The hoarders - oh, the hoarders - they are kind of like the angry people, except that they don't need to blame or kill, but they do need something to DO. They need action. They need to feel like they are solving the problem, or preparing, or at least doing something, anything, even if it is irrational like hoarding toilet paper. If the world is going down with me trapped at home, there are a lot of things higher on my list of basic needs than tp. I don't know why the tp became a thing, but once it did, crazy! Hoarding supplies is about trying to control an uncontrollable situation. It's wisdom run amuck, prudence in overdrive.
There are also those in complete panic mode - watching the news 24/7 and sharing every inflammatory meme on social media. That level of high alert takes a toll to maintain. Eventually the adrenaline will run out and they will be exhausted and join the ranks of those that have given up, binging on Netflix shows they have already watched, eating all the snacks and ordering from Door Dash.
Even those people who have so far managed to keep their heads, and are trying to carry on making wise, rational decisions, don't have it easy. I would venture to guess that most of us have felt at least a twinge of panic, wished we could embrace denial, felt anger stirring in our chest with no where for it to go, and have counted our stash wishing we were better equipped. I know I have.
I've been going in to work. I'm pretty much alone all day in my office. There are less humans at my work right now than in my home. I could do most of my work from home, but I go because it feels normal. I need something to feel normal. I get up at the same time, follow my morning routine, and show up at my office. All the while beating back the thoughts telling me it's pointless.
Sleep in, skip my daily routine of journaling and planning. Plan the day? plan what? everything is cancelled. Why shower? Why do my hair? I could wear sweats to work, who's going to see me anyway? Wear sweats and stay home. Why write down my dreams and goals? They are impossible now anyway. Why would I want to travel the world, or be a great leader? The world is different now, and I need new dreams, smaller dreams that I can fulfill within the walls of my own home, my own mind....
SHUT UP!
That's what I say to those thoughts, everyday, multiple times a day. It works, they obey. They recede to the background and I regain control. It's what I do. I show up. I keep going. I try and make the best decisions for my family, my team at work and our customers. I want everyone to be safe, well and happy, with their needs met. I want the weddings to continue, families to celebrate, and business meetings to happen. I want the kids to go to the park, and the kitchen to be full of food. I want everyone to have work. I want the show to go on.
I realize that I don't have the ability to make that happen. I only have the ability to respond to what's happening, as it changes seemingly by the hour, with my best self. I can react from a place of kindness and love. I can respond to the angry person on the phone with compassion. I can listen. I can take their concerns seriously and not dismiss them. I can volunteer as tribute, and go into the fire for those in my circle that need. I can go to the store, I can search for what they need and do my best to provide it. I can keep backing up to keep the close talking guy out of my personal space who is clearly in denial. I can sanitize the door knobs and counter tops in my office multiple times a day. I can help a bride reschedule her big day without charging her more money. I can refund deposits when events are cancelled. I can offer solutions, and a listening ear. I can be a gentle voice in a world of angry shouts and fearful cries. I can access that deep empathy that comes from a shared struggle and offer my fellow travelers on this unfamiliar journey some grace.
