Thoughts from 3am

Last night, or more correctly really early this morning, I woke up with the answer to a question I have been pondering running through my mind.  I woke up enough to type it into the notes of my phone, and then promptly fell back asleep. 

I sort of thought it was all a dream until I was at the bank this afternoon and while scrolling through my notes for an account number ( I know - I shouldn't keep bank account numbers in my phone like that, but honestly, where do you keep them? ) So, anyway, I click open my notes and there it is -  It's so interesting, the title of the note is "Fixing My Gaze"  I don't remember when I started that note, or what I was thinking when I titled that blank page, but there it was, open, titled, and waiting for these words.

A blessing is not a reward you earn, or a goal you achieve.

A blessing is a gift from God.  All that is required is for you to receive.

I'm Gonna Miss My Friend

I always wanted to be a mother. I couldn't wait to have kids, and when they were babies I couldn't wait for them to start talking.  I wanted to know them.  I wanted to hear what they had to say and what they thought about this world.  I love my kids, I like my kids, they are some of my very best friends.  They are wonderful, interesting, kind, loving, unique individuals.  My life is so much richer because  of them.  They are my purpose, my joy and my strength.  Because of them, I am a better person.

They have been coming and going in longer and further flights out of the nest for a few years now.   I miss them when they are gone.  I don't worry about them any more than I do when they are home.  I trust them to be smart and safe and all that jazz.  I know they are in Heavenly Father's hands, and I don't worry.  I just miss my friends.

Later today Quincie is leaving for her next big adventure.  She is going to visit family in Arizona and Colorado, then it's off to Maine for the next Y E A R or so.  Yes, I said year - holy crap, I'm gonna miss her!  I'm excited for her, feel at peace about her plans, etc.  She needs to go explore the world, meet new people, see new things and get off this rock for awhile.  I wouldn't want her to change her plans, and stay home with me.  Nor do I think it would be a good idea for me to tag along on her adventure.  It's  how life  is supposed to go, and I"m good with that.  I"m just gonna miss my friend.