Less Talk, More Do

I know it is February, and nearly the end of February at that.  January was just not the month for me to think deeply and make serious plans.  So, here I am in mid-February, formally stating my goals for the new year, which is already in progress.  So, better late than never, here are my goals for 2013. 

My theme for 2013 is, "Less Talk, More Do", pretty self explanatory. 

1.  Hike once a month.   Hiking makes me happy.  I love being outside, and seeing all the beauty of this island, particularly the things you cannot see from the road.  It feels great to make it to the top!  I also enjoy the conversations you can have while on the trail.  If you want to get to know someone, go hike a few miles with them.

2.  Become proficient at Hula.  When I dance, I feel joy.  Dancing Hula is a way of sharing that joy with others.  I am going to practice as much as necessary so that when I perform the audience sees the joy that I feel and are not distracted by the moves of a less than naturally graceful white girl. 

3. Read 50 books.  I need to read.  It keeps me entertained, and feeling connected to the world.  I love to learn new things, and reading is cheaper than tuition, and more flexible than going back to school.  Why 50?  It's more than I read last year, and I like a challenge.  It's slightly less than one book per week, and that seems completely possible to me, unless I get on another LOOOOOONG book kick, (ie. Atlas Shrugged, Middlemarch, Great Expectations, The Three Musketeers,  Don Quixote, etc.). 

Ok, here comes the big one, are you ready for it?  I saved the best for last.  If I say this out loud I am committed. 

4. Write my first book.  Yes, first, there will be more than one.  I will have a draft ready for the next step by my birthday.  I have been talking about this for too long, it's time to do it.  I have a desire, I have a goal, and I have a plan.  This is it, time to get serious.

44 on the 4th

That's a LOT of 4's!  It's been a good day, lots of fun, good food, well wishes, and some cool presents.  I even got to have bacon twice today.  That makes it a stellar day for sure!  Bacon does have magic powers ...

Along with all the good birthday jazz from my awesome family and friends have come some deep thoughts.  Things I have been thinking about for several days.  To everything there is a season, turn, turn, turn .... right? 

So, I'm probably not going to be a neuroscientist, or a doctor, or an astronaut (gave that one up a long time ago), or a gymnast, or a great dancer, or a host of many other such things.  I"m  not going to have any more babies (I suppose you never know, but really, I think that ship has sailed).  Grandparenthood is pretty much staring me in the face, coming right on down that track.  That 's not bad, not bad at all, just well, new.  It's an adjustment.  For somethings, the time has come and gone.  I'm not totally comfortable with that, but I don't suppose that makes any difference in the matter, it's here, like it or not.

What I am not fine with is settling for mediocrity.  I want to accomplish great things in my life.  I want to make a difference.  I want to DO something.  I want to achieve something big, finish something difficult, take something to a level of excellence, really reach the top.  I don't want to be a CEO, I don't need to run the world, but I DO need to step out of the middle of the road and get to something great.  I feel dissatisfied, like I have wasted a lot of time just getting by, and not really doing much with what God has given me.  I work hard, always have, but looking back it all seems sort of aimless, a lot of wandering from thing to thing.  I am fairly competent at a lot of things.  I'd really like to be the best at something, something that matters.  That sounds like I'm looking for recognition from the world.  Maybe I am a little bit, but not really, not at the core.  The praise of others is not the driving force.  It's the voice inside my head, the one that says, "You are more than all this.  You are destined for greatness, why do you sit and wallow in your mediocrity?  Why are you content with good enough?  Get up, try harder, you can do better. "  It's that voice that won't shut up.  It's that voice that wakes me up at night with thoughts of, "Go back to school, you need to finish it." 

I don't want to spend any more of my life just getting by, doing just enough, feeling like middle of the road is all I can do.  It's not true.  I know it's not.  I've always felt like there was more out there, that I had some spark of greatness, something that I was meant to do, that only I can do, that I MUST do.  There are choices I can no longer make, the time has passed.  There are options no longer open.  But this does not mean that I am stuck, or that there aren't many, many, many choices left to make, chances left to take, dreams to dream, and goals to achieve. 

I guess I'm just feeling a little disappointed in myself right now.  I know who I am, and what I am capable of, and I have not been living up to that level.  I got tired, and I let things slide.  I kind of gave up on somethings, and settled in.  I let the hard knocks of life knock me out a bit.  Shrink the pond, rather than be a bigger fish.  Run in the middle of the herd instead of blaze the trail.  Float along instead of row and steer the boat. 

I see it, and I feel it, but doing it, well, that's a whole other ball of wax..... I still feel so tired.  So tired from all the work, all the effort to just keep it all going.  The never ending struggle to make ends meet, do what has to be done, by the skin of my teeth, just in the nick of time. winging it, flying along by the seat of my pants..  At some point I just want to do things right, all of them, once and for all.  Do it, for real. 

It's Time for a Meeting

I have a lot of work right now, which is good, cause that means I will have a lot of income coming my way soon.  It is also good because it is important to me to have a purpose.  I need goals to accomplish, deadlines to meet, and stuff to do.  I've got plenty of stuff to do!

Large organizations have regular planning meetings.  They have a yearly plan, a quarterly plan, etc. I think I need to have a planning meeting with myself.  I have so many irons in the fire, the demands are varied, and scattered across the globe. I really need a plan.  I think my organization needs some revamping.  My inbox is out of control.  I can't stand it. I HATE to have anything unread, unfinished, or incomplete at the end of the day.

My task list isn't much better.  There are too many carry overs from days past.  Too many items hanging around down there at the bottom without a due date.  Without a deadline, they are in effect, dead.  They aren't going to get done.   They are just going to hang around down there mocking me, "nah nah nah, your work isn't done, look at us, we are still here waiting for your attention". I could just delete them all, or at leas assign them some due dates.

A clone would be nice.  Another me to do the stuff that I don't want to do, or can't seem to find the time to do. But then that clone would probably have some overly aggressive agenda of her own, and would just make the stupid list twice as long.

That's it, I've had it.  Before I do one more thing I am calling a meeting. Everyone has to be there, the president, treasure, secretary  - oh wait, those are all ME! At least the meeting will be easy to schedule - only one calendar to check.

If you're weary, it may not be from what you're doing. Your weariness could be caused by what you continue to put off doing. ~Ralph Marston

Healthy Competition

My friend, Angie, has started this awesome little contest. It offers motivation to stick to your healthy goals for 2012.  I have decided to join in the fun, and I think you should too!  This contest is for everyone, regardless of location or fitness level.  Your goals are personal - healthy eating, regular exercise, weight loss, good habits - it's up to you.

2012 Commit to it Competition

Angie has really designed this program well.  It is based on a simple points system. Points are earned for sticking to your goals, and making healthy choices.  She has created a simple spreadsheet for tracking your daily progress, and started a FaceBook group to provide conversation and motivation among the group.  So far there are 30 people on board!  There are CASH prizes for extra motivation if you choose to pay a small entry fee ($10).  

Come on over, and join the fun!

Circling the Base of the Mountain

I went to a church meeting this week, and something one of the speakers said really struck a chord with me.   He said that he lives near this mountain, that is rather steep, and has hiked it a few times.  Each time, before the hike, he has walked the path at the base of the mountain, which is a nice, easy path, contemplating how hard the hike is going to be.  He thinks about how unprepared he is, how old, out of shape, etc he is, as he circles the base of this mountain.

I have been circling the base of the mountain for a long time now.  I keep walking the familiar path, musing about how hard it would be to get to where I want to be.  I am unprepared, too old, too out of shape, to make that climb., so I continue to circle.  I circle and circle, looking up, and thinking how I'll never get there.  Thinking how amazing it must be up there, but not sure if I'm up to the climb.

This path at the base of the mountain is an easy one.  If it weren't for that looming mountain in the middle constantly reminding me that it's there to climb, I'd be quite content to circle forever.  Or would I?
It gets pretty boring, playing it small and safe, walking the flat, circular path of familiarity.  There are no surprises, no victories, no discoveries, no amazing views, just the same old thing, over and over again.  No risk, and no reward.

The only way to climb a mountain is to put one foot on the path pointing up, and let the other follow.  One step at a time, in the right direction.  The pace is not important, only the direction and that you keep moving.  If I'm not prepared, I need to get prepared.  If I'm not fit to climb, I better get fit.  All this circling and musing is wasting too much time.  If I think I am too old now, I'll only be that much older if I keep putting things off.

So, ok, I'm tired of circling.  It's getting boring down here looking at all the tree trunks.  I think it is time to start that climb and see the view from the clouds.