Sleepy Thoughts

My days start before the sun.  I love the look of the sky at 5am, it's a deep, dark blue, and the stars shine bright against that cool blueness.  The sun is rising somewhere and the black of night has warmed to a soothing blue.  The world is quiet at that hour, until my neighbor starts his Corvette about 5:10 and leaves for work.  The sound of that 1970's engine roaring to life brings back childhood memories for me..  It's not an unpleasant break in the silence.  Just like that, it is gone, and the silence returns.  By 6am the neighborhood is awake.  The runners, the dog walkers, the bus catchers, are all out on foot.  The cars are backing out and lining up at the hundred year light leaving the neighborhood.

Fifteen hours later, I am beat.  My head is fuzzy and my back hurts from sitting in this chair, staring at this screen all day.  Yet, still, I sit, and write these words.  Tonight in my feverish sleepiness I feel compelled to spill my thoughts out into the world.  My head feels crowded, too many thoughts getting all tangled up in there.  It's time to let a few out.

The sky is dark, and cloud covered, the air is still and sticky.  The humidity clinging like the hopelessly undone tasks of the day, refusing to let go, begging for one more moment's notice. The sound of distant TV's, dishwashers and A/C's blend into a form of silence. 


Tonight I am sleepy, easily lulled to sleep I looked without the filter for as long as I could today.  The sky trades sun for moon and my  eyes softly close into rest.

Way Over Due

Here are some photos of my long over due visit to Colorado.  It had been years since I had seen many members of my family.  Life is too short, and family is too precious to let time slide by like that again.

 The Noring Clan -  Mandy, Rod, Dad, Rik, Me, Florece, Cherie, Scott (top row) Aubrey, Kathie, Grandma Edlyn, Sandie, Taylor, Jordan, David (center row) Kaeili, Dagny, Carlie, Ricky (front row)

 Wendy, Rik, David, Cherie, Dad and Sandie

 Wendy and Grandma Edlyn

 Rik, Florece, Dagny, Carlie, and Ricky

 Tina, Mandy, Kathie and Rod

Dagny lost a tooth Saturday morning.

Rik getting ready to auto cross

Abram and Aaron

Aleck, Aina, Auntie Wendy, Alana and Ani

 Rik and Wendy at AutoCross

Ramblings on the Plane

I am so freakin bored!  It's killing me not to turn on my  phone.  I think I have a problem.... All I want to do is play a little scrabble.  What did I do before gadgets?  I used to read actual books.  What did I do with my hands?  Oh ya - turn pages ...
Just watched "Grown Ups".  It made me tear up.  Am I really that overly emotional?  I guess I just saw how they were all friends having fun with their kids.  I am determined to keep having fun.  All the stress is just pointless.  Something snapped inside of me this weekend.  The stress button just flipped off.  I am really just cool with letting things roll.

It's hard to say just what the trigger was, the straw that broke the camels back.  So much of significance has happened in the last week.  My grandfather Teusink passed away a week ago today.  For years I have worried about that day.  I always worried how my mom would handle it.  Turns out she's become a lot tougher than I knew. I wasn't able to be there with her.  I was in Colorado Springs at my Dad's  It was the first time I have seen him in about 6 years. [I don't want to write anymore]

This seat has a lot of room, but the arm rest is weird - can't use the left one unless you sit too far forward - strange ...

Watching Monk now - Bored!  Why do some people love this stuff so much?  It's just boring.  Where are the cell phones?  Cops, professionals locked in a bank vault and not a one has a cell phone or a radio???  See what I mean?  Stupid!!  Only a moron could find this engaging.

I've been praying for clarity for a few months now.  I want to see things as they really are.  I think it is starting to happen.  It's like a light has turned on.  Reality is not always easy to look at.  Sometimes the facade we create is much better looking, but much less useful.  I find it quite refreshing.  It's easier to love people.  Not because you ignore their faults, but because you embrace them with their faults.  Seeing people as they really are makes most of them much more lovable.

Observing so much of my family this weekend was so interesting and educational.  With four generations interacting, the patterns were evident, the connections from one to another weak or strong, shape the fabric of the whole.  Love is the bridge that covers the deep water of pain, ties the broken cords, mends the broken fence.

How easy it is to create a joyful experience with our open heart and clear vision.  Seeing through the bluster, the pure motives are laid bare.

[The sun is setting.   From the plane window the horizon is glowing pink - gorgeous!]

[Now they are showing 30 Rock - Nos so stupid.  Tina Fey is ok in my book - kinda reminds me of someone :)]

Did I mention that I hate saying good bye?  It really sucks.  I don't like crying - I cried this weekend - kind of a lot .... Sometimes love hurts.

Flying into the sunset.

Grandma Edlyn

On my recent trip to Colorado I was able to spend some time with my Grandmother.  While at her house I took some photos of photos she had hanging on her walls.  The top photo is of her and I on Saturday October 2, 2010 at my Dad's house in Pueblo.  The center photo is of my grandparents shortly after they were married.  They were both 19, and obviously he was in the Navy.  The bottom photo is of my Grandmother as a young woman.  I have no idea how old she is, but I think she looks like a movie star!