Tonight I am just sitting here at the table, minding my own business, when in flies this GIANT cockroach! Yes, it flew in! Yes, it is HUGE! My first thought is "You've got to be kidding me, I haven't seen a roach this big since Texas."
Then my thoughts turned to murder. You can't just swat a bug like that. It won't kill it. It will just enrage the vile creature. No, with an enemy like this you have to have the right weapon, you can't go light on the fire power. A wounded target just goes off somewhere to die and stink up your house. What I need is a BB gun.
I surveyed my options - A shoe? No, too messy. Plus, I don't want to get that close to the thing. What if it flies in my face? It can NOT touch me. There are plenty of tools laying around - pliers, wrench, hammer - all too messy, all require too close of a proximity. How about the vacuum? The sound would just start it flying again.
I got it - RAID!
Watching it crawl along the ceiling, it ducks inside a cabinet door that is slightly ajar. Slowly I approach, carefully swing the door fully open. Aha! Take that! Somehow it continues to fly and crawl as a veritable rain storm of RAID pours down on it. Five minutes and half a can of RAID later there it is on the kitchen floor - on it's back - twitching in the final throws of death.
The horrid thing won't stop twitching!! I am not going near it until it stops.
Just for good measure I scoop it up in the dust pan and drop it into the swirling toilet.
Finally it is dead .... I hope ....
Then my thoughts turned to murder. You can't just swat a bug like that. It won't kill it. It will just enrage the vile creature. No, with an enemy like this you have to have the right weapon, you can't go light on the fire power. A wounded target just goes off somewhere to die and stink up your house. What I need is a BB gun.
I surveyed my options - A shoe? No, too messy. Plus, I don't want to get that close to the thing. What if it flies in my face? It can NOT touch me. There are plenty of tools laying around - pliers, wrench, hammer - all too messy, all require too close of a proximity. How about the vacuum? The sound would just start it flying again.
I got it - RAID!
Watching it crawl along the ceiling, it ducks inside a cabinet door that is slightly ajar. Slowly I approach, carefully swing the door fully open. Aha! Take that! Somehow it continues to fly and crawl as a veritable rain storm of RAID pours down on it. Five minutes and half a can of RAID later there it is on the kitchen floor - on it's back - twitching in the final throws of death.
The horrid thing won't stop twitching!! I am not going near it until it stops.
Just for good measure I scoop it up in the dust pan and drop it into the swirling toilet.
Finally it is dead .... I hope ....
That thing is HUGE!! What a fun surprise for you.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is nasty! Yikes! Joella puts such a positive spin on it. "Fun surprise" heehee
ReplyDeleteIn case you don't remember, I'm Joella's sister in law. Paul's sister.
Hi Linda! Of course I remember you! We shared a fun movie and some Chinese food. You are the mom of 2 very cute girls.
ReplyDeleteThank you for telling it like it is! That thing is just horrid.
That is so Joella, to find a way to put a positive spin on horrible, nasty roach!