Thoughts on Perfection 10/27/07

I'd like to draw a picuture to show how the whole puzzle fits. I really wish I were an artist so you could see what I am talking about. Sometimes words are just the right way to express an idea. Other times words seem to fail. Like now - Maybe there are words, but I don't know them. Did you ever want to go back and do your 4th grade English homework again? and this time pay attention? Unfortunatley I spent most of my life trying to get through whatever was before me quickly and with excellence. I wanted to be first and the best, at everything. In that need to conquer I failed to get much of anything out of those experiences, unless you count the grade, or the gold star. But now, decades later, who gives a crap about the report card or the gold stars? Or that Mrs. Limmerick thought I was great? She probably doesn't even remember me now. The approval of strangers. Meaningless.

What I long for is the approval of someone that really knows me. Not the me that I let most people know, but the real me. The good, the bad, the ordinary me. For the approval of strangers we forsake our true identities. Give up those weird things that make us unique. The need to fit in, the need to be like everyone else. Who wants to show up to the pool party in a suit? or how about the business meeting in a bikini? Underneath it all we are all naked - just flesh, full of imperfections. Some are more imperfect than others. Actually I think there is some sort of balance that keeps the universe fair. If you are too pretty, you are kinda stupid, or if you are an amazing artist, you are a complete nut. Something like that. Makes us all feel better if we can think that the perfect images are just as goofed up as we are.

In our society being a "perfectionist" is a diagnosis, a clinic term for the type "A" personality, the reds, the drivers. But in our religion we are all commanded to be perfect. So, right off the mark we are at odds with the world. Either you are a "perfectionist" and you feel at home in the LDS world because finally, finally, it is not just OK to want to do everything perfect, but that is the expected standard, or you are not. Ah, the peace of belonging..... How easy to be at odds with the world as long as you have a home where you belong. A little corner where your brand of crazy is normal.

But what about the normal people that find themselves, trying to "be ye therefore perfect"? They have never been perfect or even wanted to be perfect. They have a healthy respect for their limitations and the limitations of others. So, how do you become a perfectionist? And why would you want to?

So how far does the perfect nonesence go? How far is too far? If you are in the primary, does the behavior of every child reflect on your perfectness as a teacher? Do you go the extra mile and make things so much harder? Does the effort to present a "perfect" program cost the feelings of a child?

How about this - To be really perfect is not to have a perfect appearance, or to have a perfect performance. To be perfect goes much deeper than that. Perfection is serene, not frantic. Perfection is not early, or late - but right on time. Perfection is peaceful. Perfection is not saving the image inspite of the inside. People are what is important - no matter how you arrive there, no matter what crazy road you travel, hopefully in the end you wind up with the focus of your life being the ones you love.

I am not perfect. I want to be. It is a lofty goal. I have many areas to work on. I think of Benjamin Franklins 12 points. I am not perfect at any of them. I am a very rusty axe.

Personal declarations towards perfection:
1. I will cease to be critical of others. Even when they deserve it. Even when they make me angry. Even when it is funny. I will cease!
2. I will be thankful. I will express my thanks to others. I will send notes, verbally express my gratitude - take a risk!

I think that is enough for now.