The Connection between Love and Abundance

I heard something interesting yesterday. The big 3 of life are 1. Health 2. Wealth 3. Love, and not necessarily in that order. If you have those 3, then life is pretty sweet. If one or more is messed up, then, well, not so much. That isn't news, and not all that interesting. What was interesting is this ....

If you are lacking wealth, you can't expect it to fall out of the sky and land in your lap. The way we get money, is through our interactions with other people, through relationships. If you are unemployed, who is going to hire you?  A person is. If you have a job, you have to keep the boss happy. And who is the boss, yes, again, a person.  If you own a business, you have to keep your customers happy.  And who are customers?  People.. Even if you are kid, you have to keep Mom and Pop happy to keep the allowance money flowing. Anyway you look at it, cash flows from person to person. So, if you are having money troubles, what you really have are people troubles.

Puts a whole interesting new spin on it for me. My brain has been analyzing my life in a whole new light the last 24 hours. Here are are some questions to ponder.

1. Do you think that you have to grovel for your pay?
2. Do you think that other people need their money more than they need to pay you?
3. Do you over pay for things?
4. Do you buy things to give you a sense of power?
5. Do you think you are over paid for your work?
6. Do you expect people to cheat you?
7. Do you think that the only way to get ahead is by being dishonest?
8. Do you think being poor is noble?
9. Do you know how to ask for what you want with confidence?
10. Do you know what it feels like to have more than enough for your ideal life?

Those are money issues, but at the heart of it all, it's about love. How so? Well, let me try and explain.

1. Do you think you have to grovel for your pay? (or any other physical need)
When we grovel, we debase ourselves. We grovel because we feel like the other person has power over us, that they are superior, and we are worth far less. This action comes from an extreme lack of self worth, a lack of love in the relationship with that person, and a lack of love for our self.

2. Do you think that other people need their money more than they need to pay you?
Are you willing to take less pay so the company can have more profit?  Are you willing to work for less than you are worth because the customer can't afford your standard price?  Are you willing to discount yourself, for the sole benefit of another?  If you do, then you are trying to buy love and acceptance at the cost of your self respect.  Everyone wants a good deal, but there is a line that should not be crossed.  Why does their desire for a bargain out way your desire for an abundant life?  There is a fair price, that is fair to all parties.  If someone expects you to give more than is fair, they do not value you and giving in to their demands will not raise your standing with them, it will lower it.


3. Do you over pay for things?
Over paying is emotionally and energetically the same as working for too little.  It is an attempt to buy acceptance and love.  In a way you are are telling the company, or person you are dealing with, that you value them more than you value yourself.  You are using your wealth to manipulate others into giving you what you want - respect, acceptance, inclusion, and ultimately love.

4. Do you buy things to give you a sense of power?
I remember when I was a kid and I had $3 in my pocket at McDonald's.  I felt this amazing sense of power when I realized that I had the ability to purchase anything on the menu.  (I know, this totally dates me, cause $3 won't buy you squat today).  I felt very powerful, and just a little bit prideful, standing there like a big shot ordering my Big Mac, fries, shake, AND a hot apple pie.  My parents almost never took us to McDonald's and they certainly never bought those silly apple pie things.

Seriously, do you every buy something expensive, or have your hair done, because you crave that feeling of power?  When you walk into the store you know they have to put up with your crap because you are the one with the cash?  How about taking your friends out to eat and paying for everyone, to give yourself a little boost in the ego?  It's not the buying of nice things, or the treating your friends that is the problem, it is the WHY you do it that is the problem.  Again, it comes down to love, or the lack there of.

5. Do you think you are over paid for your work?
Unless you really are being paid $100/hour to sit and watch TV, this is a false belief about your worth as a human being.  Do you love yourself enough to just let the good stuff come your way, or are you always undermining your own success?  Are you happy stuck in the muck, and afraid to let yourself rise above to where you really deserve to be?  Who are you to determine what your services, skills, or expertise are worth to another?  You might think it is easy, but to someone else it might just be priceless.


6. Do you expect people to cheat you?
If you expect people to cheat you, then you will be cheated.  Expecting the worst, means you have very little regard for your fellow human beings, or yourself.  You think the world is out to get you, and with that attitude, you are probably right.  Expecting the worst in others leaves no room for love, or respect.  At the root of thinking like this is the false belief that life is a zero sum game.  It is not, there is plenty for all.


7. Do you think that the only way to get ahead is by being dishonest?
This is the other side of the same coin as expecting others to cheat you.  At the core, it is the same false belief, that there is not enough for everyone to live abundantly.  If you want some, you have to steal it from someone else, there isn't enough for both of you.  Life is not a game of poker.  You can get ahead without bluffing and hiding an ace up your sleeve.  We can all win.


8. Do you think being poor is noble?
Believing that rich people are evil, and that if you are poor you are more righteous, is prideful. You are setting yourself above others.  It doesn't matter what the reason is, if you think you are better than someone else, you are lacking in love.    If you think it is noble to be poor, and you are working hard to get more income, you will either sabotage yourself into remaining poor, or come to hate yourself if you succeed at increasing your income.  Being rich  or poor does not make a person good or bad.  It's about how you treat others.


9. Do you know how to ask for what you want with confidence?
It's important to know how to ask for what you want.  If you have never been successful at asking for what you want, then you probably don't know how to do it right.  I'm no expert here, but I think the key is feeling love and gratitude rather than fear and doubt.  When your heart and mind are full of love and gratitude, you will exude confidence.


10. Do you know what it feels like to have more than enough for your ideal life?
If your life to this point has been a struggle, then you probably don't know what it feels like to have enough.  It's hard to visualize, and bring to pass something with which you have no experience.

Even if you have had a life of financial troubles, you have had success at something.  Remember that feeling, the feeling of success, and import it into your heart when you are thinking about your financial goals.   It's ok to borrow those feelings of success from other areas of your life.

Just in case you were thinking that you have never had enough of anything you needed in your life, that you have always had to do without, here is a little exercise for you.  Stop right now and take a deep breath, fill your lungs all the way up.  Do you feel that?  Your lungs are completely full, you couldn't possibly take in another breath.  You have all the oxygen you need and what do you need more than air?  Focus on that feeling of fullness, when you think about all your other needs.

What is the difference between oxygen, or sunlight, or food, or a house, or a big pile of money to God?  It's all the same to Him.  We have been abundantly provided for and it all comes from the same source.  You are loved.

Undone

A few days ago a lady I know from church passed away.  She died suddenly from an illness she caught while traveling out of the country with her husband.  There was time to say good bye, but not time to fly her home to competent medical assistance.  She was about my age, and has several kids in the same age range as mine. She was an awesome person, and a strength to her family, church, and community. She always pulled more than her fair share of the weight, no matter the situation.  She lived her life well.

I wonder if she had known that last week was her last on this earth,  would she have done anything differently.  Were there things she would have said, things she would have done?  Were there worries she would have let go, and cares she would have let slide?  What are the things that she left undone?  I don't know her well enough to answer for her, but if she is like me, I suspect the answer is yes..

If it had been my last week, the list of things left undone would have been long.  Too long for my liking.  This life does not go on forever.  Some of us get a few more years, but in the end, we all have to go.  Someday, my tomorrows will run out.  I have no idea when that day will come.  What if it were tomorrow?  To end this life with no regrets, I should be prepared for each day as if it were my last.

Pondering these thoughts has not made me rush around tying up loose ends, planning a funeral, completing my bucket list, or checking things off my standard, boring to-do list.  I haven't called all my family and friends to tell them I love them. (Although, I think that would be a good idea.)  I haven't booked a trip to Europe, or went on a shopping spree.  I haven't dropped to my knees praying in fear for my soul.

What I have done is slow down, way down, and look at my world with softer eyes.  My ears are open, and my mind is calm.  I want to see all there is to see, and hear all there is to hear.    I want to sit and look my loved ones in the eye and really hear what they are saying.  I don't need to cut them short, and answer their questions, solve all their problems.  I need to listen.  I know what I think.  I want to really hear what they think. I want to taste my food, each and every bite.  I want to see the sunrise, and the sunset.  I want to walk in the sun, and feel the rain on my face. I want to smell all the flowers, and pet all the puppies. I want to love without barriers and forgive without conditions. I don't want to miss a thing.

I don't want to waste another minute of my life being angry or arguing, fearful or judging.   I'm ok with doing mundane tasks like dishes, and laundry.  If that is my last act, then it would be an act of service to my family, and that makes me happy.  I'm ok with paying bills, and planning for the future, even if I'm gone, those that remain need things in order.  I'm not giving up responsibility, but I am letting go of anxiety.

I am going to keep writing, and learning tai chi. I will love now, forgive now, and live now.  Each moment is precious, and a gift from God.  Each person I come to know, each beautiful thing I get to see, it's all a gift.  No matter how long I live, life is too short to be unhappy, even for a moment.