I Don't Do Christmas Letters

I don't do the traditional family update Christmas letter.  I have nothing against receiving them, I just don't write them. I like hearing about what everyone else has been up to all year.  I especially enjoy them when they come with photos.   I have tried a few times to write one. I think I did send one out, back in the 90's.  It had a typo.  I was modified, and have never recovered.  Anyway, I just can't do it.  I get all hung up on format and content.  Just what do you say in that letter, and how do you say it?  Whatever I write comes out sounding contrived, and just dumb, even without any typos. 
 
First of all, what is the proper Christmas letter format?  Does the author of the letter identify them self as such, and write about all of their personal accomplishments, ailments, or musings on the year in first person, and all of the aforementioned details about the other family members in 3rd person?

"Merry Christmas one and all.  This is Wendy, I'm writing this letter to tell all of you what my family has been doing over the last 12 months.  I am going to brag about my kids, tell jokes about my husband, and then demurely decline to mention many details about myself out of feigned modestly."

 Or do you pretend you are not really the author and write the entire thing as news story, as if it were written by a reporter?  In that case, who signs the thing, or do you just include a by line??  You can really let go of the modesty and brag about yourself, since you didn't write it. 

 "So, 2012 was a good year for the Minks family.   Ryker and Taylor are awesome.  They have awesome jobs, and live an awesome life.  Quincie is amazing and stunningly beautiful.  She does amazing things and is very humble about them.  Several major awards were won by the family for various feats of amazing awesomeness.  Carl is great, he does great things, and is a great success.  We did great things all year, and had great fun.  Life is great!   Wendy is as wonderful as always.  She has wonderful adventures, wonderful success, and is wonderful.   It really has been an awesomely, amazing, wonderfully, great year for this awesome, amazing, wonderful, great family....." [boring .... and weird...]

  Do you write it as if "the family" wrote it as an entity?  Like the letter is from all of you, and you wrote it with all of your hands on they keyboard?

"Merry Christmas from the Minks family!  We had such a good year and are so happy to tell you about how good it was.  We had a family vacation, it was really fun.  Everyone had a great time!  We wish you could have been there!  A couple of us moved out of the house and left the nest a little empty, but then one of us came back again.  We took some trips, did some work, and did some fun things too."       [This is just too weird, writing as if the entity of  the family is writing this.  How do you say, Ryker did this... if Ryker is one of the authors?  It's just goofy ... ]

 As you can tell, I also have an issue with content.  I don't like to complain, or tell negative tales. I really don't like to tell of "struggles" in a letter that is supposed to be uplifting, and a means to wish loved ones a Merry Christmas.   But then, if it is all sunshine and roses, it sounds so fake, and like I am bragging.  My kids are great, I'm great, blah, blah, blah ...... who believes that???   Do you really want to hear the summarized, candy-coated version of our year?  How close are we if it takes a Christmas letter to find out what we have been up to for the last 12 months?  Are we not friends on Facebook and therefore, know all of each other's triumphs and woes on a daily basis?

I'm just not sure what to say, or how to say it, so I don't, and now you know why.  I still send an actual Christmas card, with a hand written letter to my Grandmother.  She is in her 80's and not on Facebook.  She deserves a hand written letter.  But as for the rest of you?  Well .... if you are reading this, then you know how my year went.  You have seen the pictures, and read the stuff I wrote about as it happened. 

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!