On a quiet Sunday evening the sudden panic of a looming deadline came crashing in. One month to go, and then this phase of my life comes to a close. Like all deadlines of any significance, this one comes with lots of things to do, and permanent consequences for things left undone. It's not like I didn't know it was coming. It's a day that's been coming for years, the clock's been ticking since 1993. Yet, here it is, and it feels sudden and rushed.
There's a lot to do int he next 27 days. My mom comes in 20 day - aghhhh! It would be great if my mom could come and help me get the house ready for my mom to come stay. Wait, that doesn't work, oh well ....
Announcement s need to be printed and mailed, same thing for the grad party invites. Then there is planning and executing the actual events. Quincie has last minute homework and projects to finish. It's the mad dash to the end.
As our youngest child, graduation officially marks the end of an era. It's been a great run, I must say! I'd do it again, start to finish, all of it, and not change a thing, the good, the bad - just to have another chance to hold my tiny baby, giggle and play with my little girl, and marvel at each new thing she discovers and becomes. If somehow, that wish could be granted, I would slow down a bit. I would savor, rather than rush. I would realize that soon enough it would be over and each moment is worth lingering over. I really love being a mom. My kids are awesome.
In 27 days life is going to get pretty chill for awhile. Summer vacation will be a slice of heaven. I'm ready to be done with getting up before the sun, and I can't say that I'll miss all the driving up and down Ft. Weaver Road. This summer will be great! Then it's off to college she will go, and on to figuring out what I am going to do with an empty nest.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The Notebook
No, this is not a review of that awful Nicholas Sparks book. I can't read that sappy stuff. I've tried, thought I should like it if so many of my peers do, but I just don't. I am all for a story with some romance and a happy ending, but it needs more than that to hold my interest. I need a good plot twist that I don't see coming, something supernatural, or rich details of a different time or place. I do love books, but that's not what I wanted to write about this morning.
It's no longer morning, or even the same day, and I don't remember what I wanted to write about. Something about a notebook ..... oh ya, I remember. My notebook. For years I have kept a running notebook. I make to do lists, take notes of phone calls, write down important stuff like orders from clients, shopping lists, balance the bank statement, and jot down any thing I want to be sure and remember. I have years worth of these notebooks. They contain many of the mundane details of my life. Looking at them in a broader view they reveal the phases and stages of my life. There are years where each day fills pages and pages. Lately, I have found myself ignoring my notebook.
Somehow, I have even gone a couple of days without recording ONE THING in there. To be honest, those weren't my most productive days. Like take today for example - April 3, 2011 - not one thing written in there. It is Sunday, so that isn't too shocking. The other night, as I sat down to plan the day ahead, I realized that I had not gone all day without a list, and without a note. I had been a very busy day, how did I make it through without a list? Habit compelled me to make that list - even after the fact.
- Take Q to school (check)
- Yoga 8am (check)
- Update draft of PowerPoint for (check)
- Bank deposit (check)
I was writing them down, and then promptly checking them off. A few minutes in I decided I was being ridiculous. Do I honestly need a list of things checked off to feel like I had accomplished anything? Without a list am I unproductive? I stopped making my "done" list, and moved ahead to the next day. It just doesn't make sense to set goals in reverse. Reviewing past accomplishments is useful, but making a list what I DID was rather pointless.
Speaking of pointless ... I sat in a chair in front of the TV for almost 4 hours today. Do you have any ides how out of the norm that is for me? I just don't sit still for that long. I didn't get up even ONCE during that time. I was watching General Conference for 2 of those hours, but the rest of the time ... what was that about? I think after 2 hours I just got stuck there. After all of that sitting I was so tired I had to go take a nap. When I woke up I was so disoriented. I wasn't sure if it was Monday morning and I had woke up late, or what. I wasn't even sure where I was. All that inactivity really threw me for a loop. After a glass of water and gathering my wits, Q and I took the dogs for a walk.
Apparently while I was sleeping it had rained. It was so humid out there. We walked slow, the little dog freaked out when we saw little dogs, the bigger dog peed on his foot, and many a mongoose only escaped certain death by our firm grip on the leashes. By the time we got home I was sweating like I was in yoga class. It was that sticky out there.
Now here I sit, babbling on and on about nothing. I should probably get out my notebook and start a good list for tomorrow. Or, maybe not .... What was my point?
It's no longer morning, or even the same day, and I don't remember what I wanted to write about. Something about a notebook ..... oh ya, I remember. My notebook. For years I have kept a running notebook. I make to do lists, take notes of phone calls, write down important stuff like orders from clients, shopping lists, balance the bank statement, and jot down any thing I want to be sure and remember. I have years worth of these notebooks. They contain many of the mundane details of my life. Looking at them in a broader view they reveal the phases and stages of my life. There are years where each day fills pages and pages. Lately, I have found myself ignoring my notebook.
Somehow, I have even gone a couple of days without recording ONE THING in there. To be honest, those weren't my most productive days. Like take today for example - April 3, 2011 - not one thing written in there. It is Sunday, so that isn't too shocking. The other night, as I sat down to plan the day ahead, I realized that I had not gone all day without a list, and without a note. I had been a very busy day, how did I make it through without a list? Habit compelled me to make that list - even after the fact.
- Take Q to school (check)
- Yoga 8am (check)
- Update draft of PowerPoint for (check)
- Bank deposit (check)
I was writing them down, and then promptly checking them off. A few minutes in I decided I was being ridiculous. Do I honestly need a list of things checked off to feel like I had accomplished anything? Without a list am I unproductive? I stopped making my "done" list, and moved ahead to the next day. It just doesn't make sense to set goals in reverse. Reviewing past accomplishments is useful, but making a list what I DID was rather pointless.
Speaking of pointless ... I sat in a chair in front of the TV for almost 4 hours today. Do you have any ides how out of the norm that is for me? I just don't sit still for that long. I didn't get up even ONCE during that time. I was watching General Conference for 2 of those hours, but the rest of the time ... what was that about? I think after 2 hours I just got stuck there. After all of that sitting I was so tired I had to go take a nap. When I woke up I was so disoriented. I wasn't sure if it was Monday morning and I had woke up late, or what. I wasn't even sure where I was. All that inactivity really threw me for a loop. After a glass of water and gathering my wits, Q and I took the dogs for a walk.
Apparently while I was sleeping it had rained. It was so humid out there. We walked slow, the little dog freaked out when we saw little dogs, the bigger dog peed on his foot, and many a mongoose only escaped certain death by our firm grip on the leashes. By the time we got home I was sweating like I was in yoga class. It was that sticky out there.
Now here I sit, babbling on and on about nothing. I should probably get out my notebook and start a good list for tomorrow. Or, maybe not .... What was my point?
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