What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

 
At Lake Yankton, searching for fossils - Age 10

When I grow up I want to be a piano playing astronaut.  I want to be a world famous scientist and discover the cure for cancer.  I want to be a doctor that saves lives and takes away pain. I want to be a librarian and read every book in the world.  I want to be a mom, just like my mom, who has magic kisses and can sing just like Karen Carpenter and all the singers on the radio.  I want to be a business person and staple, tape, punch holes, and file paperwork to bring order to the world.  I want to be a dancer on American Bandstand and an Olympic gymnast.  I want to be tall.  I want to write books like Asimov.  I want to be an explorer out in the jungle finding plants and animals no human has ever seen.  I want to be an inventor.  I want to go to college and learn everything.  I want to be be rich, and drive fast cars. I want to be a teacher just like Miss Lerrick, who make small, shy girls feel like they can be anything. I want to be brave, and bold and smart.  I want to see the world.  I want to change the world. 

When I was 9, we had a program for Girl Scouts showcasing our dreams for the future.  I dressed up in my Mom's silver racing jacket, snow boots and a motorcycle helmet.  I walked across the stage and boldly declared that I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up.  I made my public debut as a pianist that night as well.  Before donning my space gear, I entertained the crowd with some song from Swan Lake.  I was so excited because I had graduated to "sheet music".  I was ready for the big time.

That summer, after selling a record number of Girl Scout cookies, our troop took a trip to World's of Fun in Kansas City.  Having grown up in the small towns along Highway 81 in South Dakota and Nebraska, Kansas City was HUGE!  That is where I discovered my love of roller coasters and the adrenaline rush.  Roller coasters offer the perfect combination of danger and safety.  They are a controlled burn, and that's why I love them.  I am free to relax and experience the thrill confident that someone else has taken my safety into consideration.  Learning of my extreme aversion to spinning at high speeds (barfing my guts out on the Tilt A Whirl), dashed my hopes of a career with NASA.  I think that my claustrophobic tendencies might have posed a problem as well.  The whole idea of an astronaut was much more appealing than the reality.

So, I am not an astronaut, or a doctor, or a gymnast.  There are a few common threads that weave their way through the dreams of my childhood: discovery, learning, adventure, music, creating, organizing, nurturing, and love.  Those threads have become the tapestry of my life, the details of which are more beautiful than the fanciful  dreams of youth.
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