Aging Gracefully, or Otherwise

My daughter says my gray hair is pretty.  I think she is lying to me.  But whatever ... I'm not dying it anymore - for now - maybe - I might change my mind tomorrow.  Some days I'm cool with it, and others I look in the mirror and wonder, "who is this old gal?".  Hair dye doesn't really change anything - it's just smoke and mirrors - still the same old m e under the illusion, but sometimes the truth is hard to look at.  Is there some sort of rule, like the one about wearing white after Labor Day, about at what age you should just go ahead and go gray?  How old is too old to have long hair?  Is there then yet another milestone age when it's cool again to have super long hair?  I'm just not educated about all the rules of aging.  I never intended to do it, but alas, here I am, just this side of 50 and well, let's just say, I don't get carded for cough syrup anymore.

And then there is the subject of my feet.  They hurt.  I have pretty much given up on heels because I don't like pain.  I've been wearing slippers for months.  (Just in case you are not familiar with the way we say things in Hawaii, slippers are not house shoes, they are flip flops, or thongs if you are from the 70's or 80's before a thong became something obscene.)  They don't pinch or squeeze any part of the foot, but they still hurt - because they are flat.  At least the ones I wear.  The super flat ones look pretty.  They look like a pretty naked foot with just a little splash of color with a strap or a small buckle.  Eventually flat shoes make your feet hurt.  Your arch needs some support.  Your foot needs at least a little cushion.   I like the look of flat, skinny, minimalist slippers, big tall boots, or sleek skinny heels.  I think all running shoes are hideous, along with all the sensible shoes in the world.  They look terrible.  Ballerina flats, are flat, but I hate the way they look on my feet. (I think it has to do with my ankles - they are thick.  Nice and sturdy and sensible, but not my idea of nice looking.)  Oh yeah, I also like the look of Converse and have a couple pair, and they also make my feet hurt.  They are too flat, too narrow, have minimal arch support and no cushion to speak of.  They are more uncomfortable than heels or flats.  Am I doomed to sore feet or ugly shoes? 

So if some day in the not too distant future, you see someone that kind of looks like me, except they have long, wild, frizzy, gray hair and and are wearing a pair Sketchers or Crocs, go ahead and say hello.  I'm probably eating chocolate and I will share.  I'm still cool, even if my shoes and hair say otherwise.

Homeless Newborns

There is something amiss in this world when a small apartment, in terrible condition - not even safe, or sanitary - rents for over $900/month, where a blind woman depends on her 4 year old grand daughter to be her eyes, where in a homeless camp of 300, 85 are children, 5 of which are newborns. FIVE homeless newborns!  There are 2 newborns living in my home right now and I cannot even imagine them homeless.  It breaks my heart, and makes me want to scream.  How can we being doing such a poor job of it down here that our most innocent, precious, and vulnerable are homeless?  Welcome to the world you precious child of God ....

Seriously, homeless newborns??  I can't get over it.  Those mothers - how are they caring for themselves as they recover from pregnancy and birth?   How can this be?  I know, I know - we make our own choices in life and that determines where we end up.  I am a big advocate of personal responsibility.  I think people should work hard, follow the rules, and be responsible.  But do you know how much work it takes to afford that much rent?  How much it takes to just cover the very basics?  It's not as simple as all that.  Sometimes life gets darn near impossible.

Thank goodness it doesn't get cold here, but a home provides so much more than warmth.  A home provides safety, and shelter.  It provides a place of sanctuary from the world.  It's a place to belong, to feel safe and loved.  How does growing up homeless shape a child?

All they are asking for is clean bedding and towels for the kids for Christmas.  That's it - just a bit of comfort and the means to be clean.  We are a greedy and selfish society that consumes flat screen tvs and decorator seasonal throw pillows while newborns - NEWBORNS - don't have a roof over their heads!  Something is waaaaay out of wack.  We need a society wide priority check.  There are homes, there are empty buildings, there is plenty for all, if we would only live up to our divine birth right and love our neighbors as ourselves. 

I just can't even imagine ..... but there is no need to imagine.  It's reality, just down the road.  Life is fragile, we must treat each other better.  If don't, we are failing the test.  We are failing.  I must do something.  Even if my efforts are one feeble stroke against the strong current, I must try.  Won't you try too?

UPDATE 12/1/16:
We gathered up sheets, towels, clothes, baby items, food, etc and donated a trunk full today.  It's so much better for those extra things to of use rather than taking up space in our crowded house.  Why do so many of us humans have the innate desire to hoard stuff?  If having a clean towel is good, then having 20 is better, right?  Wrong!  Having tons of stuff is a burden.  Let go and be of use.  Free your stuff.

Let the Wild Rumpus Start!

 

Makua Caves

July 4, 2016

Hiking on July 4th has become a tradition.  One I intend to continue.  Standing on the top of a mountain, looking out over the Pacific ocean, brings a feeling of freedom to my soul.

This year we hiked to the upper Makua caves in Makaha.  Ryker, Tay, Q, Matthew P. and Cathy P. were with me this year, (with Atlas and Orson along for the ride).

It was approximately .6 miles, straight up the side of the mountain.  More rock climbing than hiking really.  It was challenging and very fun.  It was worth the effort.  I would recommend going earlier in the morning.  At noon we just about died from the heat.

Here are photos from this breathtaking location.

To Goal or Not to Goal. That is the Question.

I would have to say that 2015 was a great year, and a strange year.  Lots of good things happened, some according to plan and others not so much. 

Here's a reminder of the goals I sent back in January 2015 and how well that worked out.

1. Income - not too bad most months.  Could still use a little improvement.  I started a part-time job last January and am still working there.  It's been awhile since I have worked for someone else.  It's been interesting.

2. Personal VT - I hit my goal a couple of times, sort of.  I really need to do better at this. 

3. Daily Exercise - I did pretty well until we moved in November.  I'm not totally comfortable walking the dogs in the new neighborhood.  Pretty much everybody in this area has a dog, some of which are free roaming.  I need to either conquer this fear, or figure out a way to deal with this.  The dogs and I are getting lazy. 
In 2015 I walked 335 miles, ran 11.97 miles and hiked 9.34 miles. 

4. Daily Scriptures - This is a goal I actually improved at as the year went on.  I read the Book of Mormon 3.5 times, and in November we started reading the New Testament as a family every night.

5. Read 60 Books - Somehow reading 53 books in a year still feels like a win even if I didn't quite make my goal of 60.  If you add in the 3 times through the BOM it comes up to 56.  I'm cool with this one.  I set the goal of 60 again for 2016. 

6. Daily Journaling - Well, this one only lasted through January 2015.  I did journal occasionally throughout the rest of the year, but certainly not daily.  Maybe that was a little too lofty of a goal.

7. Travel - Another success here.  I made it to Carlie's wedding in August, and then to Las Vegas in November.  I was able to see Ryker & Taylor and Mom & Brad on both of those trips.

8. Monthly RS Activity - Success!  Thanks to my good friend Kahala!  Delegation rocks!  :)

9. Cleaner House - Two things really helped towards this goal.  1. House guests for Q & Matt's wedding 2. Moving.  There is nothing like a move to help you clean up your act.  The old house got clean, the new house was a nice clean start and I got rid of a lot of junk in the process.

10. No Yelling - ZERO - Total FAIL!!!  Such a fail that it's laughable.  I think I need to rethink about my yelling issue.  I don't yell at people (usually).  It's the dogs.  I yell at them pretty much every day.  It's embarrassing.  I've been thinking that instead of centering my goal on the behavior, I could try focusing on the emotions that trigger the behavior I want to change.  Basically, if I don't get angry, then I won't yell. Eliminate anger = eliminate yelling.

On to 2016 ....
I am thinking about goals and all that jazz a little differently today.  Historically I have set quantifiable goals.  Things with numbers that can be tracked, and success can be an easy yes or no.  I've worked on things that were important to me and I have felt good about the process for the most part.

I'm not sure exactly why but this year the same old routine feels a little flat.  I'm not sure setting goals with specific numbers and deadlines is going to work for me right now.  I'm not saying never again, or anything like that, just not today.


These are the kinds of goals I have been thinking about:

1. Soften my rough edges.
2. Be more vulnerable.
3. See others (& self) as God does.
4. Be more gentle.
5. Act with more faith.
6. Let go of: struggle, anger, frustration, pride and fear.

Maybe they are more technically aspirations than goals.  Measuring progress is going to be a little tricky.  How will I know if I am making progress?  I can't put numbers to any of this.   I'm also a little unsure if I can do these things with any reasonable amount of success. 

Or maybe this  .....

Looking Back with Gratitude, Looking Forward with Faith 2014 - 2015

 I was a very lazy blogger in 2015.  Starting right off with this post I wrote the first week of January 2015 that I never posted.  I'm about ready to do this again for 2016 and saw this in the DRAFTS folder.  Well, better late than never I suppose. :).

Another year has come and gone and it's time to evaluate the past and make a plan for the future.  Last January I sat down and created a new vision board and wrote a few goals on my chalkboard.  Some goals were accomplished, some visions were realized.  Others didn't quite make the grade and need more work, and others didn't make the cut for the 2015 list.

Here's how 2014 looks by the numbers:

I walked 656 miles in 22 hours 34 min.
I hiked 42.51 miles over the course of 8 hikes.
I danced hula for 17 hours 40 min. (Extemporaneous, out of class and off stage dancing not included.)

I read 60 books.
I read the Book of Mormon 4.5 times.